SURVIVOR SPOILERS

That's right, Tammy got voted off the island.

First off, lemme say that first challenge was crazy. Bringing their loved ones on and making them scarf down all that gross shit. (Well, at least it wasn't the usual FEAR FACTOR menu of odd animal scrote...) If it were me there and C. were brought in to suffer that challenge for me, I'd've totally lost. First, she's the slowest eater in the world. Second, she's a vegetarian.



OK, i feel strangely protective of Shii Ann -- partly coz of the Asian thing, partly coz she seems like someone i'd know, or be related to. She might have gotten grating to some people but I think a lot of that is through editing. (Of course, Jenna's 100x *more* grating, and she reminds me of people I've known, too.) I had this dim hope that Shii was actually gonna pull off winning an immunity again. She came close... kinda. [She just seemed to be tending to that fire forever -- she didn't even get to the water part.] Her huge monologue at the tribal council was insane. Her kamikaze exit. I'm still new to the Survivor franchise so these curious strategies still throw me. I thought she still had a chance of swaying votes and throwing out Jenna, but I guess it was very apparent to her by that point that there was no way she was getting anybody to pull for her and so she decided to go for broke and go out in a rain of shit.

(I swear a lot more on my blog than I do in person.)

Well, I think it's an amazing accomplishment that she got *this* far.

On that subject, a new guy at work got abruptly canned today. I was taking pictures of everyone on the shift for a slideshow presentation (the kind of pictures where everybody looks extremely annoyed) and I even took one of him in the morning. But he was gone by the time I got back from lunch. Mark Burnett took over my department, so stuff like that happens sometimes.

Crimony! It's the Weekend!

Another week suffered and paid for. Now, the daunting weekend...

Actors' Studio is having a prom on Friday night. And since my wife is an MFA candidate in their playwriting program, and my wife wants to GO... that's right. Malice is going to the prom.

Hava nagila.

I've also got a birthday party to grit through, by way of the G train. The worst effing train in the long history of trains.

Anybody realize that Mike2Cents, in addition to filming his first feature film, also just finished directing second unit on Wayne Wang's new film? I should be sucking up to him more. I'm just waiting for him to be the head of a major studio... then I'll pour some poison in his ear and... oh, well, I should keep all this to myself...

I gotta try to do some creative work this weekend, amidst all my methods of procrastination...

(Nobody here nostalgic for Baby Pac-Man?)

children of a lesser god

does anybody remember Randa Haines? Her biggest movie was "Children of a Lesser God" but she also directed a movie I really liked called "The Doctor". (Of course, it's been a while since i've seen either of those and my appraisal may be different.) Her IMDB filography seems to have fallen off with a television movie. A shame...

A star falls, a new star rises...

My talented wife has just made some amazing vocational progress. I won't spill it here until it's all squared away, don't want to jinx anything, but it looks like a great opportunity. I'm so proud of her. She switched paths from poetry into playwriting just a few years ago and she's made so much headway in such a compressed period of time. She works tirelessly, juggling half a dozen scripts, forsaking sleep for writing into the wee hours, draft after draft, attending every rehearsal for every thesis project of hers that's being worked on. She will be a force to be reckoned with. She won't tell you that. I will.

Meanwhile, I'm dressed up like a car crash: my wheels are turning but I'm upside down...

I need to get my career on track. Keep pushing on that damn boulder. C. is always hounding me to submit things to festivals and grants and fellowships, but it's tough to keep your head up above the flood of rejection. I need to attack this problem in a smarter way. I think I'll file that "videogame play" away in my "pet project" folder for now. It's original but I wouldn't be able to put it up anywhere except maybe The Fringe Festival. I've got a slightly less crazy idea that I'm going to try to carve out... see how the world responds to it...

Heard the new Beastie Boys track on KROC this mourn. It sounds great. I can wait for that fucking album...

MAG*NO RU*BI*OH!!!

My old friend from NYU [who plays the "white girl with attitude" on the painful "WHOOPI"] was on the Howard Stern show this morning. As part of the news, they always play soundbites from celebrity interviews -- and usually make fun of the celebrities. However, in her soundbite she talked about being for freedom-of-speech (what a rebel!) and against the FCC's renewed war on Howard, so he was easy on her. Still, it's so strange hearing someone you knew back in the day rise up into the ranks of "celebrity".

Well, as awful as WHOOPI is, they seem to give a lot of breaks to people from the community. Lot of ethnic minorities. I saw the guy who played "Magno Rubio" (Orlando Pabotoy) on there the other week, playing a bitchy Filipino male nurse. [He was also featured prominently on Amy Sedaris's STRANGERS WITH CANDY show on Comedy Central, when it was on. Perhaps he'll get to be in the film version?]

Maybe *I* should be writing historical filipino musicals... at least i'd get a shot at being produced, motherfuckers...

Approval Ratings

This isn't my best excel graph work (hey, it's what I do at work), but I wanted to try to throw this up before bed. A graph of George W. Bush's approval ratings since he stole the office. Notice the leap in approval right after 9/11/01, followed by a gradual decline back to his pre-tragedy numbers. Still -- wayyy too high for comfort.

The numbers are based on 1000 adults nationwide.

I Don't Like Mondays

Nice weather we're having... if you're a duck!

Been tossing around the idea for a play inspired by my affection for videogames. Just pooling ideas until I've got a structure that seems sound. I don't think videogames and theater really mix well, in terms of audiences. It certainly wouldn't be something I'd be trying to send to The Public. But it's an idea I'm interested in. Part of what inspires me is this play by Len Jenkins called "Dark Ride" -- its structure inspired by those dark rides at carnivals, where you're in a cart on tracks and you're led through the darkness and you see these spooky tableaus light up along the way. I read it in college and I didn't really like it, but I liked the idea of it.

I like the idea of taking something (a genre, a game) and recontextualizing its conventions to say something new. In any case, it's *different*.

Of course, my play wouldn't be *about* videogames. Still, it'd be a hard sell to a theater company and I'd probably end up having to produce it myself again. And this one probably wouldn't translate as easily into a screenplay, so I'd be locking myself out of that too. I'm really bad at this "career" thing, aren't I?

Well, I'll write it and see how it looks... at the very least, it won't look like anything else that's out there...

The Broken Hearted

Heard through the grapevine that a friend of mine (who allegedly had a crush on me a few years ago) performed some kind of monologue/rant about "how she was in love with this Asian dude and how he ignored her" at an open mic coffee house at NYU recently. Not having heard it, I'm assuming it was a rant because that's what this girl specializes in. Of course, not having heard it, it could not be about me at all. But a friend of mine who happened to be there said that she dropped a few hints that made him believe it was me.

Like I'm not paranoid enough about what people say about me behind my back, I gotta have people writing lousy spoken word rants about me?

All this "thinly veiled" bullshit really gets to me. Can't certain people come up something that isn't just a confessional vomitorium on stage? And the little factual "hints" that are dropped throughout so that it becomes some stupid guessing game... oh, it's excruciating... SAVE IT FOR YOUR FRIGGIN BLOG!!!

Have I mentioned how much I hate people talking trash about me behind my back? This is why I shouldn't interact with people...

Feeling incrementally better today. Throat still a little sore. I've got this persistent ear ache that's lingering. If I don't make it through the weekend, avenge my death...

Go Robo!

I was going to save ROBOTRON for when I was feeling better and I'm not really feeling that much better today -- BUT I'm trying to think positive. [If you're reading this in archives or further down the page, the Robotron logo is probably gone already. Feel free to cry like a little *girl*...!]

I'm thankful I made it through the week. Called out sick Monday and came in 2.5 hours late yesterday coz of that dr's appt., but it was the best I could do. Should yield me about 26 payable hours, provided I make it through the day. Enough to purchase a cup of tea. Perhaps a warm blanket. A bottle of rice milk.

Still, I've got the better of 10 hours to get through here...

[Steer clear of me this weekend! I'm contagious and misanthropic!]

everybody hurts

went to see that doctor i spoke of a few months ago. $40 and he'll see you with no insurance. i really need to get some decent health insurance, though. i know it's irresponsible not to have it and blah blah blah but it's so fucking expensive! what the hell is wrong with this country? it's so backward, it's revolting...


anyway, i saw this $40 doctor, he gave me some unlabeled pills to take and gave me a prescription for antibiotics. i picked up the prescription at Duane Reade and it cost $108...

i gotta get me some health insurance so i can see me a regular doctor.

i don't like the drugs (but the drugs like me)

the miracle of (over-the-counter) drugs has lifted me up where i belong, and i'm flying, baby! i just pray i don't crash...

anybody remember Pet Sematary? now it's real...


click on the kitty, i dare you

you wanted it? you got it! now stop all your whining! you got your damn cat back... hell, make an army of zombie cats, see if i care...

spin me faster, daddy! wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...!

gerogerigegege is dead

one of those rides to work where i'm debating whether or not to just turn around and surrender before i begin. but there are bills to pay.

i can't articulate how depressing it is to see how beautiful it is outside and to feel like the war to end all wars inside. maybe i'll try to heed a friend's advice and stick to whole-grains. (not that i've avoided whole-grains.) need to detox. need to detox.

created a few video-game related blog-logos for this site over the weekend. i'll probably unleash the others over the next few weeks. i've got a ROBOTRON, JOUST and BABY PAC MAN in the can. how is it that you do not weep for me? all i ask is one tear...

Watched The Swan last night. Why do most Fox reality shows make me feel filthy inside?

have i mentioned how desperately we need a vacation? yeah, well, i've just said it again, asshole...

pollen crazy

beautiful weekend... the sudden outbreak of gorgeous weather has reawakened the beast of seasonal allergies... took me a while to realize what was bringing me down... i've always got to suffer, don't i...? more proof of the absence of god...

like that "Dig Dug" logo? i've created a few other classic videogame related logos (including Robotron) -- i'll post them up after i've given DIG DUG its due time in the spotlight. once again, too much time...

THE WINNER OF THE APPRENTICE IS

Well, not Kwame. I guess I was rooting for him but Bill really was the underdog. He didn't have the "pedigree" of Kwame, in terms of schooling. Kwame was an i-banker, Bill started up his own company. I guess you can't get around the race thing, and the argument that the dreaded "affirmative action" would also make Bill the underdog in this situation.

But all that aside, Omarosa totally fucked up Kwame's game. More than once. And it was so obvious he should have totally marginalized her and, in this situation (because he so clearly got the shittier team, what with the unbearable Heidi there too) he really should have taken the extra initiative and micro-managed more. Had his boy Troy pick up more slack -- even tho it seems Troy fucked up the breakfast thing, he was the only person who had his back on that team.



I liked how it turned into The Price is Right at the end, complete with the fake boardroom walls coming apart and revealing the live studio audience and a cheesy studio band. They even gave him the choice to be the "boss" of one of two different Trump companies: a new golf course in California or a new luxury hotel in Chicago. I think they should have taken the Price is Right theme all the way and given him a mystery "Door #3" alternative:


[insert sound: Wah wah wah WAAAAAAAAAAH...!]

The "live" portion of the show (which was the last half hour) really showed The Don's performance limitations. He seemed awkward reading from cue cards and engaged in even more awkward banter with a roundup of all the losers. I guess the annoying Tammy got knocked up since she was fired. Trump mentioned it and seemed to begin to chat with her but cut her off before she could actually say anything. DIS!!! (It wasn't enough that in the opening recap of all the firings, he summed her up, "... and Tammy drove everyone nuts!")

OK, i just spent wayyy too much time making that animated goat-farm gif...

I'm very interested to see how all the (losing) people exploit their 15 minutes of fame. It seems OMAROSA has managed to kickstart a career in the time-honored, distinctly American phenomenon of establishing a personality that everybody loves to hate. (She vaguely reminds me of someone I know, but I imagine she reminds EVERYBODY of someone they know...)

I know this blog doesn't get nearly the amount of traffickkk that BigLeagueMike2Cents gets over in his Xanga Xanadu, but I wanted to beat him to the punch with posting my afterthoughts on the finale. [Even though he's probably the only one who reads my blog regularly and watches that show so I might as well have just e-mailed this to him but I figured it'd somehow seem more productive if I posted my thoughts to the world, which is what blogs is for, i guess. is that a run-on?]

Anyway, Bill seems like a really together chelloveck and I think he was a sound choice. I love reality.

(PS: this post contained SPOILERS.)

The Price of Freedom

How'd you like this brilliant weather??

Got a decent night's sleep last night. (Though it nearly made me late for "work".) Had a bad dream, though, involving someone I once knew. She was headless for part of it. It was creepy. One of those dreams that kind of haunts you with images and memories for the rest of the day. I really hope I never see this person again. I wish there were a procedure to erase her from my memory altogether.

I know it's beautiful outside but I would ask that you please stay indoors and update your blogs for me to read and leave comments on my blog. At least until I can get out of here at 6pm. Thanks in advance.

RUN, you fools!

won't all 5 of you be sad when i acquire more of a life and i stop updating my blog every half hour?

(i hope so.)

anybody check out my "wish list" on Amazon? why not? my birthday's like 9 months away. don't wait for the rush. this is my advice to you, because i care.

Money Money Money Money

okay, i won't go into a whole "in defense of why i listen to howard stern", and i don't agree with everything he says and i don't even think everything he says/does is funny. listening to his show is like listening to coworkers in an office chatting. they've been there forever. they hate their job. they hate their company. they love/hate a movie they saw over the weekend, or a television show they saw last night. sometimes i agree, sometimes i don't, but oftentimes it *is* funny. and this pseudo-puritanical, hypocritical witch hunt that is being conducted by the FCC, on a roll since the Janet Jackson nipple terrorism, is stupid and unconscionable. (oh well, i defended him anyway.)

well, i only mention him coz almost all the ladies from THE APPRENTICE were on his show this morning. funny, i thought it was just a bunch of random bimbos before they started mentioning the show.

have i mentioned that i really can't stop watching either SURVIVOR ALL STARS or THE APPRENTICE? guilt overcomes me. (this is the first season i've ever actually watched SURVIVOR and now i "get" it!)

and by the same producer, APPRENTICE... curious because, on one hand i dislike many of the characters (they remind me too much of the young i-bankers i work with/for)... but that dislike makes me even more compelled to watch... like watching a nature documentary on the mating habits of rodents...

when my mom visited for easter this sunday, i found out the she watches THE APPRENTICE too! this show is bringing families together, people...

did anybody see the abominable G.W. Bush press conference last night? how can he come across as SUCH a fucking dummy and not have that affect his approval ratings??? my coworker just told me that the biggest corporate sponsor of Bush is... the company we work for. (the company i'm blogging from right now.) how depressing. don't hate me. "i'm just following orders". wonder if that makes our building a target for international terrorism.

[INTERLUDE]

one waits for the dust to settle. urban dust is the residue that flies around in the air of our society. that junk that comes out of the industrial revolution, technology, modern day society. people like Bush, our reality tv culture, american capitalism possibly make up what is urban dust. it's like a term from a media studies class. urban dust gets wiped away but then floats back up into the air and continues to pollute our nation. it's sneaky because it's so invisible but it's all over the place.

and the reason you are called urban dust is because of the hidden malice in our world

the malice that is seeping into our homes, our culture, society, art, children, IM, blogs



[from a private IM chat, Monica Hong -- the Korean American actress]

the cook, the thief, his wife and her blogger

when will the rain end? it's a biblical downpour and i just hope it tapers off slightly before i have to step outside and face the grimness.

is it just me or does "Xanga" sound like an L. Ron Hubbard race of aliens?

the Actors' Studio playwriting teachers are absolute nincompoops and they don't know jack about shit.

ask why only if curious...

baba o'riley

i am so tired. i've got another 2 hours to get through. another dead day at "work". three people were out today, tho we just got two new ops in the center; still, it means i dealt with all the "complex" jobs today. oh my christ, just typing that out made me sleepy.

(i admit to stealing the idea for this next bit from howard stern. F THE FCC!)

MAKE A WISH FOUNDATION

Make-A-Wish Agent:
What can we do for you, Timmy?

Timmy:
What can I wish for?

MAWA:
Anything you want, buddy. You want to meet Jessica Simpson? You want to cut the lines at Magic Mountain?

Timmy:
I want to blow up the world.

MAWA:
Is that a PS2 game...?

Timmy:
No. It's my wish. I want the world to end with me. I want to curse the world the way the world has cursed me.

MAWA:
... you sure you don't want to just meet Michael Jackson?

Timmy:
Uh uh. I want Michael Jackson's head on a stick. And then I want to destroy Texas. We can work our way northward from there, up the middle of the country.

MAWA:
(holds up an adorable stuffed bunny wearing a green sweater)
Paco the Bunny thinks you're nicer than that, Timmy. Paco the Bunny thinks you could use a hug...

Timmy:
And I want all bunnies to be crucified. Why should they be allowed to frolic while my body deteriorates? While my life shrivels before me...? The cuter the bunny, the more horrible their end... and I want Mel Gibson to make a movie about it...

MAWA:
(leans in)
You know, Timmy... some children deserve to die...

XXX

okay that was mean, even for me.

God Complex

Me took this grammar test and look what me got...!


You are a GRAMMAR GOD!


If your mission in life is not already to
preserve the English tongue, it should be.
Congratulations and thank you!


How grammatically sound are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Booyah!

How Do You Lose A Pop Star?

Hire fuckin' Omarosa, motherfucker...

Whitney McNally

I honestly don't mean for this blog to evolve/devolve into an overly preachy soapbox -- it's just intended to be an outlet for me to bitch and whine like 99% of the other blogs out there. That being said, forgive me if I occasionally feel obligated to rant about whatever the current whitney mcnally bullshit happens to be. To be fair, it seems that many of yesterday's whitney mcnallies seem to have faded from pop-culture memory, such as the Abercrombine & Fitch t-shirts and the Mr. Wong web cartoons and those Urban Outfitters "Chinese Man" costumes. And with all of these protests and petitions of (sometimes debatable) instances of gross whitney mcnally, there is always the danger of the Asian American community coming off as hypersensitive, humorless P.C.-nazis. But I'm all for supporting worthwhile causes, especially when I can do it in a small way like this.

(Confused? Click that whitney mcnally button and then come back here.)

Having said all that, I don't mean to be critical (heaven forfend I'd be critical on my own fucking masturbatory blog, that maybe 3 or 4 people in the whole world might read) but this "whitney mcnally" word doesn't really roll off the tongue. And it's actually fairly complicated to work into conversation -- and I imagine if you tried to use it in a live conversation, you'd be forced to go into the etymology of the term, which almost seems to defeat the purpose of having that name be synonymous with its newly fabricated definition.

That's why the idea behind "santorum" -- the inspiration for the creation of "whitney mcnally" -- is more devious and clever, IMHO. If you work "santorum" into a live conversation (and I'm not saying that's an easy task either), you're not forced to go into the etymology of the word because it sounds clinical (it doesn't sound like a name) and the meaning of the word has little to do with the issue that inspired it. (Except perhaps in a circuitous manner.)

But whatever. I gotta support my phantom community, and that means trying to take down whitney mcnally wherever it happens.

Hooray for Nothing!

I know I've been complaining here (this is one of those complainy blogs), but work has been a virtual vacation this past week. It's two weeks since I started my new position, but so far I haven't done anything new: this is terrific. More time to write, read magazines and compulsively recheck my blog.

I did notice today that my *title* in our time-tracking system at work has changed from "Senior Operator" to "Liaison - PresCtr Consultant". I'm blowing your mind right now, aren't I...! Well, hold onto your potatoes coz there's more...

...

... okay there really isn't more at the moment. I just wanted you to keep reading.

Did anybody see this crazy story on 60 Minutes II last night?

These two 12-year-old kids beat and stabbed this other 12-year-old kid over 30 times.

They're in juvie hall now and the question the courts are trying to sort out is whether or not they should be tried as adults. That boy they killed had been considered learning disabled and had once been diagnosed as slightly autistic. The two boys recently turned 13 behind bars.

How's that for a downer? Have I sufficiently bummed you out? What a world of shit we live in! How can you sleep??

Burning Down the House

Not to keep my ranting going, but a few links courtesy of that wacky Michael Moore:

Bush has managed to unite enemies! As the old Godfather line goes, the enemy of my enemy is my friend. [I miss Coppola.]

It seems the people in this country are finally waking up. I just hope they stay awake and go out to vote at this election.

How in the Hell are things supposed to get sorted out in Iraq by June 30th?!?

All right, I'm ignorant. I haven't got any answers (or do I...?), but i'm pretty sure this motherfucker dudn't have any:



Okay, I think I've fulfilled my misanthropy quota for today. Jesus, I'm revolted by so much, this shit doesn't even scratch the surface...

Hung Kung Phooey!

I made this picture to post as a comment on Xanga Missionary's blog but i couldn't post pix in his comment section so here it is for all you disloyal MISANTHROPY readers:



Do not get me started on William Hung and what he represents to the Asian American Male. The cover of the current VILLAGE VOICE (forgive my blog manners if I'm too lazy to include a link) states:

"WILLIAM HUNG: THE WORLD'S MOST FAMOUS ASIAN AMERICAN"

Buck-tooth, American Asexual FOB motherfucker... Why don't they just castrate us all now? Hell, put Russell Wong in something -- I'll go see it!

In non-Asian American Idol news, shit's just hitting the fan in Iraq. We (our government) just blowed up a mosque killing as many as 40 people as they arrived for prayer services. This Iraq thing was a terrific idea. (That last sentence should be read with sarcasm, and as an understatement.)

In other news, I am totally bored at work.

this is getting out of hand

okay, i've been devoting wayyy too much time to this bloody blog. i just spent a depressing amount of my free time updating my "comment" feature -- which had the unfortunate effect of wiping out every comment i've gotten before now. (not that there were a great wealth of them, mind you.)

now, i attempt to spend the rest of my precious evening doing something slightly more productive...

(feel free to refill my comment counts and enjoy the fruits of my procrastination: thanks in advance.)

(PS: it seems a lot of the old comments are still viewable if you scroll all the way to the bottom of the page and access the archives. but why would anybody want to do that?!??)

there is no why

O! Tuesday! what a painful slump of a day...

i'm feeling a little easier about my new position at work, even though i haven't technically done anything new yet. (not that any of you care either way.)

i loaned a friend my copy of Wong Kar Wai's FALLEN ANGELS, and in doing so was reminded how much i used to love that movie. Terribly sad & romantic.

i'm trying to catch up on projects i've procrastinated on. i shot two nights of a reading of "YELLOW GIRL" (by c. c.) many months ago and the footage has been sitting dormant on my harddrive since then. i'd like to finish editing it and clear it off my harddrive. [perhaps have a screening of it for the cast, if they're interested.]

then, of course, i've got two nights of my BUTCHERHOUSE CHRONICLES that i shot and haven't touched. i really should try to go through that, though it's going to be a motherfucker to edit. and relive.

future generations will appreciate my obscurity.

Holy Fucking Shit

My pop is the poster-boy for "Parents Who Don't Know The First Thing About Computers And Have A Computer Problem That They're Trying To Get You To Help Them With". Believe me, the language barrier doesn't help matters.

After an hour on the phone with him, I don't know what the fuck's wrong with his computer.

No matter how long it's been since I've spoken with him, no matter how hard I try to maintain a modicum of patience, I invariably end up getting curt with him.

ME
You double-clicked on "My Computer", right? So what do you see?

DAD
Okay... eet says... tree and a hap inch ploppy, A colon... local disk, C colon...

ME
Do you see the CD drive?

DAD
No...

ME
Did you put the CD into your computer?

DAD
Yes...

ME
Are you sure it was a CD you put into your computer, and not a floppy disk?

DAD
(uncertainly)
Yeah...

ME
Do you know what a CD is?

DAD
(defensively)
Yeah, sure...!

ME
You don't see anything that looks like it could be a CD drive when you double-click on "My Computer"...?

DAD
Maybe eet's tha "C colon"...

ME
No, the "C:" is your harddrive!

DAD
Maybe I dont hab enupp gyga-harts RUM por my compyooter...

ME
Maybe you're not my real father!!! Have you ever considered that??!?!?!

Well, one good thing came out of the conversation. He reminded me that it's my mom's birthday today -- which I'd remembered earlier last week but (as usually happens) had completely forgotten about.

Serenity now...

Happy Daylight Saving's Time. Go ahead, just take the extra fucking hour out of my life. I probably would have just blown it anyway...

Chain of Fools

Please klick on this, it is way cool. [It's not a link to The Onion but I'm not trying to play some April Fools prank -- I just couldn't get a more appropriate picture uploaded.]



Oh yeah, it's April Fools... must think of an appropriate April Fools ruse... what can it be, what can it be... um... I just won the New York State lottery... and my full name is Tim O'Connor and my AMEX # is 3739 524762 71003 (exp. 08.06)...

*sigh*

I know, kinda lame... and I had to mug a guy and steal his wallet just to come up with it...