Sunday, May 29, 2011

Trent Reznor and Karen O. Rock the Red Band.

Leaked RED BAND trailer for Fincher's adaptation of "The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo" has been yanked! Above is a trailer for the original adaptation.

GREEN BAND trailer for Fincher's movie below, featuring Trent Reznor and Karen O covering Led Zeppelin.

Mormons Are Okay!

This is an old story. An ad campaign to reassure the people of the world that Mormons are regular folk.

A newer story is The Church For Single People that's been erected in the magical land of Crystal City, just outside of D.C. Sounds enchanting.

What's wrong with you, single people? Get married already!

Saturday, May 28, 2011

What's the problem?

Friday, May 27, 2011

Party Till You Puke

((Wait for it...))


Let's be careful out there, kids.

Thursday, May 26, 2011

Mr. Busy

I'm sorry this thing isn't getting updated as regularly as I'd like. I'm just so absurdly behind with work, antiquated frivolities like blog-posting get neglected.

I'm really absurdly behind. There are emails I haven't fully read/responded to. Writing I need to address. I'm hoping the upcoming holiday weekend is making other people slow down, too.

All right. Everything's cool. I'll make some advances before I fall asleep tonight and make greater strides tomorrow.

I still have time to become a better person.

Could we just postpone June for another few weeks...?

Monday, May 23, 2011

Misanthropic Optimist

I'm an optimist.

It seems unlikely. I know. Combing through the entries here, you might assume I'm anything but.

However, given it all, I think I have a generally positive outlook. Pragmatic optimistic. I'd need to have a healthy level of optimism in order to pursue the career track I've chosen. I believe I can survive doing what I'm doing. I have faith that I can make this work in the long run. I am thankful for everything that I have.

I've got such a great team backing me. Had a talk with one of my managers Friday night and it just highlighted how much I love these guys. They could have dropped me ages ago but they believe in me and what I can do. And more than that, they're just cool. Surrounding myself with cool people is important to me. I want to work with cool, talented people that I respect. People who are not socially inept. I've worked very hard, over many years, to not be socially inept. I've made grand strides. And perhaps because of this, I enjoy spending time with people who, on a basic level, can carry on a compelling conversation.

I was walking home from K-Town Saturday night and this drunk 18 year old Asian-American kid approached me. He asked me how to get to Penn Station. Initially, I just pointed him in the direction... but as I talked to him, I felt compelled to walk him there. He needed to catch the LIRR, he pleaded with me. He just needed to get home to Long Island. I asked him where his friends were. "They left me. I just need to get home." Drunk, underage and lost in the big city at the dead of night. Out of all the people he could've run into, I thought he was fortunate that he ran into me. Someone who would act as a big brother and not a serial killer. He was so far gone, I almost wanted to buy him a bottle of water, get him sorted out a little and make sure he got on his train safely. I'm all about good karma, but I had to go take a piss. So I just walked him right up to the entrance to the train station and wished him luck.

Friday, May 20, 2011

TV on the Television

I was on television last night. I won't say where. Some of you might be able to guess. Anyway, I didn't watch it, though I was curious.

I have to call my manager back today.

Oh, and I have to write and write and write and write and ... [undecipherable]

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Out of My Fucking Mind

Sometimes I have just got to take a moment to step back and marvel at how utterly stark raving mad I've made myself with these projects I'm slaving over.

It's not math. It's not science. It's an art. And sometimes if you just try to throw the sheer drudgery of hours at it, you end up at brick walls. I have been keeping despicable hours trying to get some of this done. I don't sleep through the night. I sleep in patches. Three hours here, four hours there. Filled with bad dreams. When you're this worn out, it's hard to see what's good anymore. This is just a stupid, disposable blog entry and I can barely string the words together in a coherent fashion. (Hopefully my animated GIF will distract you from my failure.)

I'm at the wheel and I'm half-asleep. I'm about to Chappaquiddick this thing.

Last night, had a dream that I joined a cult on Long Island because the rent was cheap.

Okay. End vent. My manager wants to talk to me today, we'll see how that goes.


Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Beautiful Dreamer

On May 1, 1947, Evelyn McHale leapt to her death from the observation deck of the Empire State Building. Photographer Robert Wiles took a photo of McHale a few minutes after her death.

A sadly beautiful portrait of suicide. She looks so serene as she lays amidst her violent impact.

Monday night, I took a nap and dreamed of a car accident that I've been trying to write.

At some point, I really should take a break from all the horror that I'm trying to build my life upon.

Monday, May 16, 2011

Worst Videogame Vocal Performances

Good face acting, here.

Spoiler Island

Spoiler Alert: Rob Mariano Has Shitloads of Money!

Forget about him winning the grand prize AND the fan favorite prize for this latest edition of SURVIVOR. He's been in a shit-ton of reality shows since his first Survivor appearance, including a fucking paranormal investigation show. All his weeping over being able to shovel more money into his family coffers?!

I'm calling it the worst season of SURVIVOR ever. At least in terms of anything exciting/surprising happening. Nobody played the game except for Rob. Nobody fought for that million dollars except for Rob. Unacceptable!

Well, at least Rob will have a little more pocket money while he's shooting his new HISTORY CHANNEL travel show "Around the World in 80 Ways". Good for him.


Friday, May 13, 2011

Leave All Your Love and Your Longing Behind You

Florence + The Machine. I've been hearing this for months at the gym and haven't been able to figure out what the song was. Until Now. (I thought it might be Concrete Blond for a while.)

I can't wait to hear a clip of it on the next Girl Talk album.

BLOGGER has been totally fucked up the past few days. What's up, BLOGGER?

Thursday, May 12, 2011

Award Worthy GIFs

Shocking confession: I'm fond of animated GIFs.

I've made a few here. Some I think are pret-teh, pret-teh good.

These suckers put mine to shame. Not even the same league.

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

How I Learned to Stop Caring About Asian Heritage Month

I was collecting the mail the other day and couldn't help but notice the cover of my roommate's New York Magazine.


Uh oh...

Flip to the inside story...

Paper Tigers: What happens to all the Asian-American overachievers when the test-taking ends?
By Wesley Yang.

Oh no...

The article is very long and you can read the entirety HERE. Brace yourself for how it begins:
Sometimes I’ll glimpse my reflection in a window and feel astonished by what I see. Jet-black hair. Slanted eyes. A pancake-flat surface of yellow-and-green-toned skin. An expression that is nearly reptilian in its impassivity. I’ve contrived to think of this face as the equal in beauty to any other. But what I feel in these moments is its strangeness to me. It’s my face. I can’t disclaim it. But what does it have to do with me?

Millions of Americans must feel estranged from their own faces. But every self-estranged individual is estranged in his own way. I, for instance, am the child of Korean immigrants, but I do not speak my parents’ native tongue. I have never called my elders by the proper honorific, “big brother” or “big sister.” I have never dated a Korean woman. I don’t have a Korean friend. Though I am an immigrant, I have never wanted to strive like one.

You could say that I am, in the gently derisive parlance of Asian-Americans, a banana or a Twinkie (yellow on the outside, white on the inside). But while I don’t believe our roots necessarily define us, I do believe there are racially inflected assumptions wired into our neural circuitry that we use to sort through the sea of faces we confront. And although I am in most respects devoid of Asian characteristics, I do have an Asian face...
It gets worse from there.

I had to check the year on the cover of the magazine to verify that this was a current issue and NOT one from 1995.

Sometime toward the end of college I started exploring the whole Asian-American culture thing. Flipped through the odd Asian-American periodical on the magazine racks. Attended Asian-American film festivals filled with poorly made Asian-American identity films, with titles like "Yellow" and "Shopping for Fangs". For a year, I was even in a performance group that featured Asian-American identity pieces.

It took me a while to make peace with the fact that most of that navel-gazing wankery is downright tedious.

In the 90s, awful Asian-American filmmakers would give interviews about how they wanted to be the "Asian-American Spike Lee", wanted to tell stories for *their* generation of Asian-Americans. You don't hear that sort of argument too much anymore because it's idiotic. The Asian-American community is an illusion. It covers a range of ethnicities and cultures that are NOT all alike. There was a time when I was concerned about things like "representing my people" but that's a completely absurd/naive/arrogant idea.

I get that it's Asian Pacific American Heritage Month but the narratives that Yang recycles in his rambling, self-centered, essentially pointless New York Magazine article seem so antiquated. The idea of the "bamboo ceiling" seems especially tired and projects the sense of a victim-mentality on a large swath of people.

The article is ultimately offensive because it tries to make a statement about the State of Our Asian-American Community Today that is doomed to be an epic reductive failure because there is no common thread that unites all the cultures that exist beneath that banner. Even restricting the focus to Asian-American men doesn't offer an accurate portrayal. The cover screams "ASIAN LIKE ME!" and I promise you that I'm not in there. My experience isn't represented by the people in the article. Articles like this only serve to marginalize people. A way to avoid the true complexity of humanity.

I don't try to speak for anyone but myself. Do the best you can and help your friends when you can afford to. The fact that this article serves as the cover feature of a mainstream magazine is disheartening. Then again, who the fuck reads New York Magazine except for my roommate?

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Down in the Tremé

Hey look, it's Falzone on Tremé...!

And he's playing... my uncle.

That's my uncle's name. Lived in the house across the street from ours when I was a kid.

Falzone's not doing my uncle's accent right, though...

Google Voice Doesn't Understand You

I've got Google Voice attached to my voicemail. If you're unfamiliar, GV automatically transcribes voicemail messages into text that can be read.

Invariably, it does a poor job of this.

Voicemail I received on Sunday, transcribed by ME:

"Yo! It's your buddy Nick callin'. Uhhh, Happy Mother's Day. I was just calling to wish you a Happy Mother's Day. All right, uhh, cool. I'll talk to you later. Bye."

The same voicemail, transcribed by GOOGLE VOICE:

"Yo. It's your buddy Nick. Call length, I have to move this thing. I was just calling to wish you Happy Birthday. So alright school. I'll talk to you later. Bye."

Let's break down where it got confused.

Nick callin' was translated as Nick call length

Uhhh, Happy Mother's Day was translated as I have to move this thing.

Happy Mother's Day was translated as Happy Birthday. (The computer doesn't seem to understand the concept of motherhood.)

uhh, cool turned into school.

All in all, this isn't the worst example of its efforts.

[I should really think about calling Nick back at some point.]

Monday, May 09, 2011

Get Along Gang

Remember when I used to be so good about updating this blog on a daily basis? I'd be downright mental about it. Setting up entries to automatically publish if I were going away on a trip.

I haven't abandoned that level of effort entirely. I've just been focused on script writing and deadlines recently.

Also, I find it vaguely off-putting when someone I know says, "By the way, I found your blogs..." Because it suggests they were specifically searching for me online.

I don't give this url out left and right. People out there stumble upon it organically, hopefully because of content and not because—for one reason or another—they're looking me up. You think I have a lot of time on my hands because I keep up this blog? Well, what's it say about you if you're the one stalking me online...?!

Forgive me. I don't mean "you". (Unless I do, in which case you know who you fucking are.)

Thing is, this isn't exclusively a pop culture blog (quick recap: loved FAST FIVE, loathed THOR, "SURVIVOR" is a real bore this season) and as such it gets complicated trying to write to such a strange audience of perfect strangers, friends, enemies and frenemies. And sometimes, honestly, the effort isn't worth it to me. I started this as a lark back in 2002 (!) and it's evolved into a nice little plot of beachfront property where I can draw pictures in the sand. Alternately serious and frivolous.

Sometimes it works best when I try to forget about the people who may be reading it.

Sunday, May 08, 2011

Happy Mother's Day

Wednesday, May 04, 2011

Friends for Dummies

Okay. A lot of *friends* have turned out to be completely unreliable assholes this past week. Not just one. Several. And unconnected to each other.

People having complete psychotic breaks, people being absent-minded and careless with my time.

I make jokes about how the universe revolves around me. But if you really know me, I've gone to great lengths to look after my friends. I can be generous to a fault. I make time for people when I don't really have the time, at a moment's notice, when there's often little to immediately benefit. Because I guess some part of me believes in karma.

I'm patient but I'm not that patient.

Watch out for the cold front, kids...

Tuesday, May 03, 2011

Ten Years

[President Obama and his national security team watch the season finale of The Jersey Shore.]

Did you hear that Osama bin Laden got got?

I wonder who the trigger-man was. Who on "SEAL TEAM SIX" made that ultimate score? That guy gets whatever the hell he wants from now on.

I watched the fuck out of CNN on Monday. Talking heads with small parcels of information, forced to stretch that material over hours and hours. Commentary on every angle, from everyone they can get on camera. Hours of shots of crowds just chanting "U.S.A.!!!"

It's strangely comforting.

It's been almost a decade combing the desert for this guy...

At a certain point, I stopped waiting for it.

People are using the word "closure" a lot. The death of bin Laden offers closure to people.

For me, I don't know. My world was completely different on September 11, 2001. I was engaged, living in Brooklyn, working at Bear Stearns. Those attacks hit hard. I remember being at work; everyone had already left and I was still trying to contact my fiancée.

I remember the uncertainty before it was clear who was responsible for the attacks.

The sense of urgency once it was clear who was responsible. That national desire for "justice" (revenge).

But we wouldn't get the satisfaction of "justice" for another 10 years.

Ten years. The entire sphere of people I care about is almost completely different than it was back then. Which, in its own way, is sort of heartbreaking. I can't turn to the person next to me and say, "Do you remember how we felt that day?"

A lot has changed in ten years.

Where do we go now...?

Monday, May 02, 2011

Osama bin Laden has a posse

On to the next one.