Monday, February 29, 2016

Funemployment 2016 Part 2


Called that unemployment number this morning (855-822-6536). Got a message that due to unusually high caller volume, there were no operators to assist -- so I could try to call back later or leave a voicemail message.

Tried this a few times before leaving a voicemail message.

Tried calling another number I found online (888-209-8124) with an elaborate automated system but got stopped when I couldn't recall the 4-digit pin that I apparently had. Made an appointment for a callback on this issue for tomorrow, Tuesday, at 12:12pm.

Then for the hell of it, I tried calling the original number again just now, about 3:23pm.

This time I got through.

Wasn't a very long wait until I got to speak with a guy. I had my last pay stub so I gave him the name of the company I worked for (Entertainment Partners) and their number. Let him know how much I was earning.

Confirmed that I hadn't worked for anyone else since that gig.

Biddi-bop-biddi-boop. He removed the block on my benefits certification, so I ought to be able to certify for benefits again by tomorrow mourning.

Okay. So I should be able to survive through the next month before my next gig kicks in. Fucking precious.

It is exhausting living on the razor's edge.

Sunday, February 28, 2016

Chris Christie Endorses Trump for Pres; NY Daily News Responds

Gotta love the subtlety of the New York Daily News.

Looks like Christie is trying to weasel into a VP seat on the Trump Train to Neo-Nazi America! Hail Hydra!

Chris Christie in 2016!

Trump and Christie at Madison Square Garden in an ALL-OUT, NO HOLDS BARRED, BUTT BONGO FIESTA BATTLE ROYALE WITH CHEESE!!!

Apparently, the Republican candidates have the writers of 1980s World Wrestling Federation writing material for them.

Funemployment 2016

Fun with unemployment.

You know the drill. These gigs I work are temporary by nature, so I file for unemployment during the gaps between them. For the past year+, I actually haven't had very long stretches of unemployment. Last year, I think it was less than a month.

Anyway, I was on unemployment at the beginning of this year. Each week, every Sunday, I claim benefits online, which is usually pretty simple.

Then I got a gig that was supposed to last three weeks.

Instead of stopping the claim completely, each week I'd log into the unemployment benefits site and claimed that I had worked more than 4 days that week and earned more than $420. (In which case, you do not get paid any unemployment benefits that week.)

This went smoothly. Though the gig ended up lasting five weeks instead of three because it was shitty. January 19 to February 17.

The week I was supposed to get back onto the unemployment benefits, the online system stopped me with this:
We have information that indicates you may be working either full-time or part-time. Under the law, you are not eligible for benefits on any day you work. Because of this, we cannot accept your certification for benefits through this system. If you are not working, or are working only part-time, call 855-822-6536 for assistance. Please be ready to tell us all dates you have worked, as well as names, addresses, and telephone numbers for all the employers you have worked for since the beginning of your claim.
That's fun, isn't it? So I get to call the unemployment hotline Monday mourning when they're open!

I really hope I don't have to jump through bureaucratic hoops to get this going again. My next job is supposed to start in April so I've just got to get through one month on this thing.

Friday, February 26, 2016

Trump of the Will

Las Vegas’s hottest new casino is TRUMP OF THE WILL! This place has everything... fried Clams-Man buffets, lynching flash mob dancers, a Bill Cosby “impersonator” who serves drinks, Donald Trump supporters...

What are “Donald Trump supporters”?

It’s that thing where you round up the dumbest, most racist, xenophobic, egregiously ill-informed people in the country and they all end up voting for Trump.

Thursday, February 25, 2016

Little Red Corvette

My Great Netflix Plan

A couple of years ago, I decided I wanted to save a little money so I switched to the 2-Blurays-a-Year plan on Netflix.

It actually costs a surprising amount of money to use two bluray discs as dust-collectors for the better part of a year.

Since I'm in between jobs, I decided to try to watch those two discs Wednesday night.


David Cronenberg's "Maps to the Stars"

While I'm certainly a Cronenberg fan, I'm not a fan of this film or his previous "Cosmopolis". I found "Maps" even more suffocating because it rolls around in the mud of L.A. and the entertainment business. It is supposed to be satirical but it is... just hard to watch. And I guess I tried to watch it at some point earlier in the past year and didn't get through it. Having finally gotten through it, it is a malevolent portrait of the entertainment industry, and you (I...?) almost want some larger scale horror to occur to more of the characters by the end. Well, most of the characters don't find a happy end anyway. Reminded me a bit of old Todd Solondz. Remember Todd Solondz? Why isn't he directing superhero movies now?


The 2nd disc was an animated film that someone recommended to me called "Ernest & Celestine".

When I popped it in, it wouldn't play. Even after repeated cleanings.

So. I reported that as a "problem" on Netflix and confirmed that they did NOT need to send me a replacement disc.

I was all ready to cancel my disc subscription entirely, in fact... but then I looked at my queue... and looked at some other new discs... and the fact remains that there's still a lot of shit on there that isn't covered by streaming. So... maybe I'll keep it going a little while longer...?

Gotta get these discs into the mail, though!

Wednesday, February 24, 2016

K-Strass (the Yo-Yo Guy)

You may know Mark Proksch from BETTER CALL SAUL or THE OFFICE.

A few years ago, he took a tour of local midwestern morning shows billing himself as K-Strass the Yo-Yo Master: teaching school kids about the environment through yo-yo tricks. It seems that local midwestern morning shows don't do any background checks when they book guests, and are so starved for new content, that K-Strass got booked. A lot.

His goal when getting on these shows: tell the saddest personal narrative and de-emphasize the actual yo-yo tricks as much as possible.

Tuesday, February 23, 2016

How To Lose Weight In 4 Easy Steps!

Wednesday, February 17, 2016

Money Monster Reshoot End Date

The little reshoot gig that was supposed to take 3 weeks ended up taking 5. And being one of the worst gigs ever. One of the lousiest commutes. Perhaps THE lousiest interpersonal situation. For this goddamn thing that just shot for a total of four goddamn days.

Wednesday. February 17th. It ends.

January 19 to February 17, 2016. Money Monster Reshoot End Date.

I need the break and hope the next gig doesn't rear its head for a good spell...

Tuesday, February 16, 2016

Vanity Has a Posse

Denise Katrina Matthews
January 4, 1959 – February 15, 2016

Vanity has a posse.

I had such an outrageous crush on her as a kid.