Sore Survivor

[SPOILERS]

Requisite apologies to non-watchers of the great show SURVIVOR. The finale aired Sunday night and this online document of mine would be incomplete without a statement.

The burning finale question:

How did Russell Hantz know that he'd lost the previous season of SURVIVOR?

So the story goes, Russell had something like 9 days from the wrap of shooting SURVIVOR: SAMOA before he was recruited and choppered into SURVIVOR: HEROES VS VILLAINS. It would be many months later when he'd actually tape the live finale of SURVIVOR: SAMOA and be privy to the final tally of votes.

And yet—from the last episode of SURVIVOR: HvV—this quote from Russell before the final tribal council:

"You say you can do it but it's a lot harder than you really think. And I've done it. Twice. Day 39. Tonight I believe I have a good shot at winning this. Last season, I brought two people coz I thought I could beat em. Coz they were the weak players. And I didn't."

That one statement ("And I didn't!") provoked a pausing of the DVR and a lively argument over whether or not the producers would have told RH the results of the previous season before he would get to tape the live finale of that season.

The opposing side insisted that what we had just watched HAD to be a statement taken out of context. There's no way in hell that the producers would've tipped off a contestant before a live finale.

Frankly, I don't think enough has been made of the fact that Russell went directly from one season of the show to the next with almost NO recovery time. While you can debate the advantages and disadvantages of none of the other All-Star players having seen his gameplay, a clear disadvantage for him was that he:

a) didn't get time to physically/mentally recover
b) didn't get the opportunity to objectively watch his own gameplay and reassess for his next round
c) didn't definitively know whether he won or lost.

So, what's it going to be, then?

Was the statement he made taken out of context through editing? Did the producers tip him off at some point during the filming of HvV ("Hey, by the way, I peeked into the urn and you didn't get one damn vote for the way you played last season, asshole!")?

None of the above.

Excerpt from a post-finale interview with Hantz:

Did you know you lost Samoa when you played Heroes vs Villains?
“Yeah. I knew I lost because you can read what they tell you and how things are going. It’s common sense to know that you did not win.”

I've got to say, from watching the tribal councils of both Samoa and HvV, it was pretty clear that Russell didn't have a chance in hell of winning either season. There is no end to the shenanigans involved in assembling even the most respectable of these reality shows, but I'm willing to believe that Russell intuited that he'd lost the previous season by the way he was received during that tribal council.

Supporting that, during the final HvV tribal council, Russell makes a few comments about how all the jury members are looking at him as if he were the Antichrist. (My term, not his.)

Another post-finale interview with Hantz.

So, SANDRA (of all people) is the one that ended up winning the season. Not even Parvati. It's funny how Russell got beat by women during both of his seasons—arguably two of the weakest women, both times. Natalie White was the portrait of a coattail-rider. And while Sandra was pretty good at skulking about and keeping her own throat from being cut, she didn't play as hard and fast and expertly as Parvati.

Yes, you could argue that Sandra won the million—the first time anyone has won "Sole Survivor" twice—and that's all that counts. She played twice, she won a million dollars both times, that's a good average.

I think the debate gets fuzzy because people talk about SURVIVOR as if it were a sport. It resembles a sport. It has sports elements in it. But it's ultimately a reality show and reality shows thrive on surprises. The rules change for each new season of SURVIVOR, to keep contestants on their toes, to try to make things more dramatic. Each season is designed to defy the expectations of the players: this is not a sport that you can practice because a large factor is sheer luck.

All that said, there are clearly some brilliant moves and some bone-headed moves played in the game. And if you were to empirically score up the SOCIAL GAME, the PHYSICAL GAME and the STRATEGIC GAME played by the finalists—based on the hard video evidence—Parvati had to have decimated Sandra this season. Russell would have beaten her, too. If this were a sport where you could score technical points along the way. (Number of blind-sides executed, number of hidden immunity idols found, number of challenges won.) I think that THIS is what Russell was TRYING to articulate during the Live Reunion Show—he was claiming that the game was "flawed" because the American public doesn't get to vote, but I don't think that's the heart of it. (Though, to be fair, Russell did win the $100K audience favorite award BOTH TIMES HE PLAYED.) What I think Russell really would've liked would've been if SURVIVOR were judged like a boxing match. Counting the number of jabs.

People argue that Russell plays an awful social game. I'll argue (for Russell's sake) that the game is weighted far too much on the social aspect. That's how you get people like Sandra winning. Russell and Parvati executed some downright incredible maneuvers this season, and yet bitchy little Sandra ends up winning because... she and Courtney were BFFs? Because Sandra FAILED to get the Heroes on her side and someone like Rupert decided that THIS was a person who deserved to win the title?

You get my point. Look, I get it: jury systems suck. You let 12 Angry Losers pass judgement and innocent people end up on death row.

Dalton Ross has a good assessment:

The best final Tribal performer ever was probably Todd from China. He owned up to everything he did, but then told the jury members that he simply had to do it because they were all such great players that that was the only way he could beat them. He managed to stroke all their egos while still taking responsibility for everything he did. That is Russell's fatal flaw: He simply can't credit anyone else for anything.

This has been way too many words about the finale but I haven't even gotten to the part that fascinates me even more...

SCENES FROM A PONDEROSA

Why, why, why am I so fascinated by these videos from the Ponderosa?

I find them so fascinating because they're a natural extension of the show but they are so tonally different from the show. You get a far better sense of each person/character.

I loathed Courtney on the show... she just seemed like a useless, catty stick-bug grotesque. But in the Ponderosa videos... she came across as far more human. Even someone I'd enjoy partying with.

One of the things that makes a difference: the Ponderosa videos aren't as aggressively edited as the broadcast episodes. For obvious reasons, there's a lot less footage they're editing together for the Ponderosa pieces. There aren't a dozen interweaving narratives of people scheming. It's just people enjoying good meals, trying to suss out what happened and, honestly, simply enjoying each other's company.

One of the things I read about a lot in SURVIVOR interviews is how often people keep in touch with each other after the show. I'm personally fascinated by extended/surrogate families. Mainly because my own immediate family is so scattered to the wind, and I get a vicarious thrill out of watching other people enjoy each other's company. It's like emotional pornography. (If you count food pornography, violence pornography and good old-fashioned regular pornography, I am quite the connoisseur.)

That's why I was so riveted by the Ponderosa Tapes. They offered a much deeper portrait of this drama.

And while Russell, Parvati and Sandra never got voted out, all three went to the Ponderosa after that last tribal council.

At the dinner table, someone looked a bit left out...

And yet, for all the talk of freezing him out socially as soon as he got to the Ponderosa camp, people still welcomed him. They may not have given him the most enthusiastic hugs, but they didn't exactly leave him out in the cold.

For all the snappy editing and tv-ready monologues, the Ponderosa videos show these characters as human beings. Some more awkward than others. Some more bitter than others. Some more delusional than others. Some more sympathetic than others. This is why I watch.

FINAL RANDOM (RUSSELL) OBSERVATIONS

Sandra burning Russell's hat at the end provided an almost perfect narrative symmetry to Russell's arc. When we first saw him in SAMOA, he was burning people's socks. Sandra didn't even know about that.

Russell made some extremely misogynistic assessments about some of his competitors in SAMOA. Yet, through that season and this season, it's women who end up besting him.

In many interviews (including this last live finale), Russell talks about how he feels like he played one long season instead of two separate seasons, and that shows in his gameplay through the two seasons. Note that in HvV: he doesn't make up lies about being hit by Katrina, he doesn't go to great lengths to conceal the fact that he's an "oil tycoon" millionaire who doesn't really need the money. This could easily be due to editing but the fact that he doesn't need the money doesn't seem to be as much of a factor in an All-Star game when several of the players have previously won the million dollar prize.

Best Survivor Season Ever. I was slightly underwhelmed by the teaser for SURVIVOR: NICARAGUA—kind of hard to go back to a regular season of unknowns after the one-two punch of the past two Russell seasons. Hopefully, the casting people will come up with something to pique my interest... but you know what I really want to see...


SURVIVOR: BOSTON ROB VS. RUSSELL HANTZ!
2 PLAYERS.
39 DAYS.78 HIDDEN IMMUNITY IDOLS.
THIS SEPTEMBER, YOU'D BETTER PRAY THERE ISN'T A MERGE...
(I hate writing these long entries!)

Russell and Parvati play cute with Dalton in the aftermath.

The End Rises Up Like a Fist to the Jaw

[SPOILERS]

Nothing like a lonely Friday night in NYC to write a blog entry about SURVIVOR that 3 people will bother reading. How about that penultimate episode, people?

Going into the finale extravaganza on Sunday, we've got our final 5:


Before I get into anything, let me just reiterate that I've really enjoyed watching the "Ponderosa" videos of the latest ousted over on the CBS page. Yes, you've got to suffer the obnoxious video system that CBS set up and most of you will not bother, but I've found it to be a fascinating extension of the broadcasted show. You really get a different, deeper picture of each *character*.

For instance, one of the first things that tie-dyed hippy-pirate Rupert does once he gets back to civilization—lights up a cigarette!

HEY KIDS, WHO'S YOUR HERO NOW???

Roid-Rager James was a smoker, too. I'm fascinated by that shit.

Anyway, evidence from the Ponderosa vids indicates that the loser jury seems to unanimously despise Russell Hantz. With good reason. And because of this, it would seem that he's cinched himself a spot in the final 2-3 again. I guess it's a valid strategy: make yourself such a flagrant bastard throughout, people WANT to take you to the end because you won't be such a threat in terms of votes. But can the berserker come up with a winning argument for the jury this time...? I love the relentless sonuvagun and, once again, I'm amazed he's made it this far... but I'm thinking he's not getting the votes again. Unless he manages to pull a serious Jedi mind-trick at the closer.

I'm thinking it'll either be Parvati or Sandra—two people who've previously won the "Sole Survivor" million, which would make it a real unprecedented coup to win again.

Obviously, there are circumstances where Jerri or Colby could win. Colby, if he lasts, is the only surviving "Hero" with a jury filled with fallen Heroes. He damn near slept through the entire season but he could get it just for being there. (Still, it'd be smarter to get him out.) Jerri could get it for not being Russell. Any of them could get it for not being Russell.

I still think it'd be incredible if Russell could find a way to sway that jury. Probably won't happen but I'm always rooting for those longshots.

This last episode marked the return of the "family reunion" bit, which was absent from the previous season. They tend to seem a little silly to me because these people are just gone for a month, but I found this one more interesting because it threw Russell's (cute) wife into the mix. I was curious how it'd affect his game since he's in "evil gamer mode"—and it's debatable how it did. He was clearly upset when Jerri didn't pick him to share in the reward, but it's not like he turned into Mr. Softy when his wife showed up.

Also: the Russell half-flip to the remaining Heroes. Sandra's lippiness toward Russ at the camp. Sandra playing her hidden immunity idol just in case. (It would've been useless after that tribal council and it would've been the dumbest move to NOT play it.)

Here's the thing: Probst reached Rupert's ousting number before revealing all the votes. It's only in the final vote-tally video that it's clear that Russell didn't end up turning on his team. And now he knows that Sandra's a bigger threat than expected. You know, for all the misogynistic shit he spewed during his original season, it's probably karma that all these women are running rings around him this season.

Favorite Season of Survivor Ever: check.

Survivor: Mickey Mouse Edition

Why so feral, Mickey? Are you incensed because this entry has nothing explicitly to do with Disney or Disney Theme Parks?

Well, it's the day after Survivor Thursday and as the grand HEROES VS. VILLAINS season is racing to its bloodbath conclusion, I thought it might be fun to take a look at a pop cultural curiosity that I was not aware of until recently.

SURVIVOR: THE RIDE at California's Great America.

A SURVIVOR-themed ride...?!??

From the description:

Alluring tropical landscapes. Pulsating jungle sounds. And heart-pounding, nonstop excitement at every turn. It’s all here at the world’s first reality rollercoaster, SURVIVOR The Ride™!...

... You’ll join one of two tribes, and then face off through exuberant tribal chants and ritual dance. (Losers, beware. . .native masks are rigged to spray you with a cool surprise!) Then, board a giant circular vessel, with a fiercely towering mask at its hub. You’ll sit facing outward and experience a riveting rocking and spinning as the platform swirls along a wave-like track—all while crisscrossing rugged terrain and climbing hills up to five stories tall!

What the huh? Perhaps an animated gif would make this clearer:

Get it now? It's EXACTLY like SURVIVOR.

Last person to vomit gets to stay in the park till closing. Everyone else gets kicked out.

Here's the ride in full motion video, if you're video enabled:


Uh oh... looks like Mickey's transmogrified into a Giger Alien...
"I'm Mickey Mouse! I run this game! I say who stays and who goes!"

Corporate mascots have such poor tempers...

If I could instantly ride any 3 rides from the history of Disney World, today they'd be:
1) Soarin'
2) Snow White
3) Everest

This is Where it Gets Ugly

[SPOILERS]

Friday afternoon, waiting to hear 11th hour feedback on a few documents I sent out so that I can make any last minute revisions before getting on with my life. Got about four and a half hours of sleep Friday mourn, trying to get this shit done, but the real bitch is always those last minute changes.

Well, that's why I've got a little time to write a SURVIVOR entry.


[Music video from "The Dragons", the Ponderosa-based band formed by jury members. Yet another reason this is the craziest season of SURVIVOR ever.]

I have to say, I enjoy watching the Ponderosa videos after each episode. It's a true extension of the show and you get a deeper insight into these characters and what makes them tick. In many cases, they come across more likable and human in the Ponderosa videos than they do in the actual show. (The CBS Survivor site and video set up sucks ass and you're forced to watch a 30 second commercial before every video, but I still enjoy them.)

An excerpt from Probst's last blog entry:

Oh Rupert, I still love you, but after this season concludes you need shave the beard and create a new persona. The one has grown tired. The lovable pirate who always puts integrity ahead of winning has served you very well and you will always be one of the most popular Survivors ever. But it’s time for a change. Listen, to be fair – I know I could take the same advice myself. Get me a new haircut, a different colored shirt and maybe some new dialogue, cause I’m sure the same argument could be made for me. The Probst act has grown tired.

But, I’m the one writing the blog so that means I’m going to continue to focus my attention outward on everyone else… and leaving the inward thinking for my therapy sessions.

You know, I'll bet that Probst is a really good guy in person. He just comes across as a dick on paper. (Unlike me.)

Things are officially, irrevocably a mess on this season. Again, I have to contemplate what it is that I like in the show. Arguably, the show is most interesting when it's a complete clusterfuck.

Russell Hantz is off the reservation. His game errs toward the messy but he's really screwing himself now. Watching the Ponderosa videos gives an even clearer forecast: NOBODY IS GOING TO VOTE FOR RUSSELL IF HE GETS TO THE END. All the squawking about the bitter people in the last season of Samoa refusing to vote for Russell and history's set to repeat itself: this time, with "All-Stars" who should theoretically be above the bitterness, who should be in a better position to respect his cutthroat gameplay. In that sense, he's the perfect candidate to ride with to the finale.

(Speaking of "island candidates", how about that last episode of LOST??)

I continue to be fascinated by watching the guy manipulate the game but he distinctly lacks an endgame. He's a berserker, all slash and burn. And he's getting sloppier. He's systematically ruined his relationship with Parvati. Judging from the next episode teaser, it looks like he's ruined it to the point that he's now forced to ride the last two Heroes to the end. (I don't underestimate Russell, but you get him to the finale with a "Hero" and there's no chance in hell he wins the million.)

Sandra finding that last immunity idol? She's getting a lot farther than expected. It would be a real shocker if she ended up being the one to beat Russell, after all the fanfare.

Everything is Falling Apart

[SPOILERS]

I was having a grand time with this season till a few weeks ago. I'm still completely invested in the season—it's the one show that I try to watch on the actual night that it premieres (I let the DVR record at least half an hour before starting, so I can skip the commercials: I like to be good to myself)—but I find the latest developments troubling.

1) Sandra going rogue
2) Parvati telling Amanda that she's got an idol
3) Candice dropping out of the immunity challenge without reason
4) Parvati dropping out of the immunity challenge, essentially telling everyone she's got an idol
5) Parvati not telling Russell about her 2nd idol, using them BOTH at tribal council, using one for Sandra

I don't like Sandra. (Though I confess, I *occasionally* think she's kinda cute in certain shots; hey, what do you want from me here?) It's entirely personal but she and Courtney remind me of a set of catty weasels who'd sit at the back of the classroom, making fun of everyone else and bringing nothing to the table. Courtney did JACK SHIT: sucked at challenges, sucked at strategy. Sandra sucks at challenges and is just doing everything she can to weasel her way further.

But I hate her and I *like* Russell? I don't entirely get it, either. I know there's a way to articulate it but it's complicated. Russell is mean. Overly self-aggrandizing. He's been playing a particularly messy game, IMHO. But there's a sociopathic streak to him that I... identify with just a little bit. Okay, I've said too much. (That's me in the corner.)

I didn't like how Parvati hid her secondary idol from Russell. It was a good idea in theory for her, but she didn't do it to blindside Russell (which would have been the smart game, for her) but merely to show Russell that... what? She's not a pushover? She's not just riding his coattails? That she's got her own game she's playing? She ended up flushing both idols out during the tribal council—which was a cool pimp move and certainly smacked Amanda and the rest of the heroes in the face, which was fun—but all it served to do was:

a) waste an idol on Sandra
b) totally piss off her strongest ally in the game

It would've been slightly better if she'd managed to keep a united tribe together but all she managed to do was keep a completely dysfunctional tribe together.

Jerri did get saved. I think I'm developing feelings for Jerri. There is something sad about her and I find myself drawn to sad girls because then I can be the one to cheer them up. The expression of shock on her face, at being given an immunity idol and at being SAVED, was heartbreaking. Like a beaten dog being given a bowl of food and a gentle pat on the head.

And then, there is JT, Boy Wonder.

Dear, dear JT...

He executed arguably one of the most bone-headed moves in SURVIVOR history: blindly giving an immunity idol to a person he doesn't know on the opposing team. He didn't just give Russell Hantz an immunity idol—he wrote him a love letter to go with it!!! I'm sorry, that's NOT the dumbest move in SURVIVOR history: that's the most ADORABLE move in SURVIVOR history!

He got totally played by Russell but he grinned and shook Russell's hand when it was done. Because he knows it's just a game and I think he's got a sense of humor about it. How many girlfriends does this guy have? It kills me...

I know that some of you (the two of you who actually read these SURVIVOR entries) think that Jeff Probst comes off as an egotistical asshole in his recap blogs. Well, I implore you to read what Probst wrote this week... because I think he breaks new ground. Here's my favorite part, which he drops in, randomly, RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE of the blog entry:

REALLY PERSONAL INSIGHT
In case you’re wondering, my office is pretty small. It’s not connected to my house either. It has hardwood floors that I had to replace about three years ago after a particularly wet winter. I have a poster from a movie I wrote and directed, “Finder’s Fee.” I have a poster from a show I created and hosted, “Live For The Moment” that nobody watched so it’s off the air. I have two very old paintings from one of my grandpa’s. I have a flat screen that my brother mounted on the wall that I never watch and wish wasn’t there. I have an old grandfather clock, a few photos from Survivor, some photos of friends and a few trinkets from my travels. Now you know.

Clap. Clap. Clap.

Thank you, Mr. Probst. The truth is, I don't REALLY read your weekly post-episode blog entries to get a little insider insight into the show. I'm honestly just so fascinated by YOU PERSONALLY that I hunger for these scraps of personal information. I'm inspired by you, truly. In fact—

MALICE'S REALLY PERSONAL INSIGHT
In case you’re wondering, my office is my bedroom and I refer to it as "The Tomb". I share my apartment with two other roommates and I'm the only one who takes out the trash or removes the leavings in the kitty litter box. I've been thinking about getting a haircut in the near future and there are some shirts I should take to the dry cleaners. Now you know.

Here's Stephen Fishbach's latest blog entry, though I know you won't read it. Some intelligent commentary on the episode, nonetheless.

Oh, and Russell Hantz was in a real life brawl!!! The guy's a berserker—what did you expect?

The Blind Side

[Do I even need to point out there are SPOILERS here?]

Couldn't last forever, I guess. I was disappointed with that last episode of SURVIVOR. Rather, I was disappointed that my anti-hero Russell Hantz had his weakness so blatantly exploited by Sandra.

Why do I hate Sandra and Courtney so? They're completely, unapologetically useless in challenges and yet they both enjoy spewing sarcastic, belittling remarks about everyone else. Is that worse than Russell's endless self-aggrandizing? I somehow find them more annoying.

And yet, anti-heroes are always there to let you down, too.

I would've loved it if Russell had managed to get over his ego and see through Sandra's play to pit him against Coach. But to Sandra's credit, she managed to play Russell's ego like a banjo. As Probst blogs:

With this one little move, Sandra again revealed Russell’s Achilles heel. It’s not that he’s “stupid” as Sandra suggested. It’s his ego. Pure ego. In this case, it’s that he can’t stand thinking Coach is having second thoughts about him. Nobody has second thoughts about Russell Hantz.

Here's the thing: Danielle was the one up in arms about voting out Courtney so why did she end up voting for Coach during the tribal? The recaps interpret it as a play to split the votes in case Coach had an immunity idol but... what? Was there ANY threat of Coach having an immunity idol?

I don't get it. It was all sloppy. Russell's still in the game and the next episode teases a boost in his fortunes—though teases tend to be untrustworthy. I want Sandra out. Courtney has no physical ability or strategy so she doesn't really matter, but it would be nice to see her gone, too.

Ugh... I just don't know. I was having a fine time with this season until now.

Probst

Dalton Ross

Coach Dragonslayer's Exit Interview

Stephen Fishbach

BERSERKER!!!

I did not know what to expect with that last episode of SURVIVOR. From the previous week, though Russell had managed a miraculous victory, the numbers just weren't in his favor. Short of a merge and/or finding another hidden immunity idol, I didn't see any way Russell could survive the next episode.

And yet somehow, the guy managed to turn it around, tricked Jerri against Coach Dragonslayer, and sent Boston Rob—one of the most formidable all-around players ever—packing.

There's a lot of debate on the message boards about what makes someone "The Best Survivor Player Ever". There are a variety of ways to get to the end. Manipulation, Coat-Tail Riding, Strength, Sheer Luck. Some combination of these things.

Russell Hantz plays a different game...

Russell Hantz is an ugly fucking player. He takes wild risks, says outrageous things to other players' faces, bleeds ego. His social game is unapologetically cruel. He's a berserker. He'll come at you from a mile away and won't make any effort to conceal his rampage.

And I still like him. Because it's still just a game show. There are no codes of honor. He's not nice on the show but I'll bet he's a good guy in "real life" (if you're on his proper side). And even if he isn't, I don't really care. I'm sure Axl Rose is an asshole in person and I still worship the guy. Russell Hantz is no Axl Rose, but I respect him. (Is anyone still reading?)

I'll be amazed if he can get to the end playing the way he does, but he did it last time and he's made it lot farther than I expected him to amidst this cast of All Stars. Without Boston Rob, Russell's tribe's a complete mess now, just like his tribe last season. He seems to thrive in that sort of chaos. He can better control things when there's no clear leader. He cuts the heads off of opposing alliances.

THE COURTNEY & SANDRA INCIDENT
Then, there was that infamous clip of Russell strategizing with Rob in front of Courtney n' Sandra. Former SURVIVOR (and real life Courtney boyfriend) Stephen Fishbach writes in his latest blog:

"The way he treats Sandra and Courtney after the challenge, as though they were trash that washed up on the beach, showed a lack of even basic human consideration."

One of the commenters on Fishbach's blog ("JON") offered:

"Speaking of Sandra/Courtney, what a ballsy, and unpredictable thing to say in front of them. In a weird way it was so completely honest that it almost transcends simple arrogance or unkindness. Frankly they are the weak links in challenges, have expressed clear disdain for Russ, and they were on the wrong side of alliances as far as Russ was concerned. I’m not entirely sure of the wisdom of such a statement, but it fits in perfectly with Russ’ behavior of defying expectations and throwing people off their game." (emphasis mine)

This is the only assessment I've read that seems to suggest that there was some method to Russell's rudeness. And it's true that Sandra and Courtney have been obscenely dismissive of Russell throughout. Sandra called him out during a tribal council. Courtney's sole ability in the game seems to be a gift for snark. Russell got to them not by whispering catty remarks about them behind their backs—or saying something with the safety of Papa Probst's presence at a tribal council—but by being OPENLY DISMISSIVE OF THEM out on the fucking beach. He's playing a cruel game but he's playing it with some cruel people. It's risky and mean but he's playing the game in a way that it's never been played before. And for a show in its 20th season, something you haven't seen before is fucking refreshing.

Fishbach responded:

"JON: I also agree that being blunt with Courtney and Sandra might be very smart strategically. I just think it’s an example of a kind of social behavior that is not calculated to win!"

EW's Dalton Ross writes:

"We've obviously seen players plotting behind tribemates' backs before. We've also seen players come up and apologize to someone before voting them out ('Sorry, dude, gotta do it. Nothing personal.'). And we've even seen players in a huff of anger tell people that they're going to vote against them. But I don't think we've ever seen someone so casually — with no apparent malice — dismiss other people right in front of their faces. It was just so... odd. And therefore, wonderful."

King of Shit Mountain Jeff Probst lays out his take:

"Russell continues to flabbergast me in the most enjoyable and entertaining of ways. Calling out Courtney or Sandra as the 'next to go home' right in front of their faces was one of the boldest moves I’ve ever seen anybody make in any game at any time. Wow. Give this man a wide berth cause if you don’t, he will take it.

"Let me tell you what I’m really learning from Russell — when you have nothing to fear, nothing at stake, you have all the power. Russell is truly only playing to win and it shows. He is so brazen. Russell is one helluva salesman. No, I am not going to stop talking about him because he’s absolutely fascinating.

"What’s even more amazing is that he is still in the game! For all the people that want to hate on him, he’s still in the game and Rob is gone. Tom is gone. James is gone. Stephenie is gone. Cirie is gone. He’s not just a crazy person, he’s a very intimidating, cunning and powerful player in this game.

"Can he win the game? Remains to be seen. He still lacks social grace. I doubt he has ever had it, probably never will. But that guy will empty your wallet before you ever know he had your hand in his pocket."

And this is why I still like Russell Hantz...

In this last episode, the HEROES tribe finally started to resemble heroes and the VILLAINS tribe finally started to resemble villains. Almost perfectly, like a script. You need to see heroes take a real beating; you need to see them overcome something before you can really start rooting for them. And Russell rose up as a remarkable villain. You need a great villain in a story and Russell has no problem playing that role, above and beyond what's called for.

Make no mistake, I'll really miss Boston Rob. His exit interview with Dalton Ross makes me like him even more. He's charismatic and a major player. But it was fascinating to see him get outplayed in a game that has given him everything he has (including a wife). Nobody wins forever.

If Russell were out, I'm not sure who I'd be rooting for. Some piece of vanilla fluff from the "HEROES" faction? Russell's the bad guy. And I think I want to see the bad guy win this one.


Okay, I just wrote a lot of words about an episode of Survivor.

[Note: There were SPOILERS in this entry.]

Outplayed

What about that last episode of... SURVIVOR!

SPOILERS!!! But honestly, most of you probably don't even pay attention to this show...

Here are the popular breakdowns, for those who care enough for the very best:

Jeff Probst blog
Dalton Ross blog
Stephen Fishbach blog.

Boston Rob played a perfect game and Russell Hantz still managed to outplay him! Sure, he got lucky, it was a way-too-risky move. He could've easily ended up outplaying himself. But that crazy fucking gamble worked goddammit and the look on B'Rob's mug was incomparable:

You see him doing the math and trying to figure out WHAT THE FUCK just happened. How did Russell manage to remain in the game, keep his minority alliance intact and terminate one of the B'Rob's army?

And he did it in plain sight of Boston Rob's people. Didn't try to hide the fact that he was pulling Tyson aside. There was NO REASON for Tyson to change his vote whatsoever... and the haters may like to say that ol Russ just lucked out, but I'd like to believe he targeted Tyson because he thought he could play him. And he somehow managed to play Tyson in the subtlest manner I ever saw Russ play someone in the game.

Where does he go from here? I don't know. But Russ was making big show-stopper moves like this last season. And each week, I'd think, "Well, he bought himself another day but there's no way for him to survive the next round..."

I hope he gets to the end. I had my doubts and still have some doubts, but I'm feeling a little better about his chances. Boston Rob is damn near unstoppable and it's nice to see someone offer him a genuine run for his money.

Tyson Apostol explains his fatal move

Idolatry

In the last episode of... SURVIVOR... Boston Rob compared Russell Hantz to Gollum in his vainglorious quest for the hidden immunity idol.

I don't get why Russell didn't start searching for that idol as soon as he hit the beach. Was it that he was still stunned from his Survivor: Samoa run, a mere 10 days previous?

I want Russell to win. Or at least get very far and prove his mettle amidst All-Stars, instead of the hoople-heads he was playing against in Samoa. But I fear he's put too big of a target on his back by so brazenly going after the hidden immunity idol while all the other people on the Villains tribe agreed to avoid the temptation.

I hope if/when he finds that idol, he's got a sound strategy for how to best exploit it. I hope people are underestimating him. I hope that *I'm* underestimating him... because the season's going to be much more interesting as long as he remains in play.

MEANWHILE...

While Jeff Probst is keeping up his weekly post-show blog entries on EW's PopWatch site, Survivor: Tocantins-contestant Stephen Fishbach has been keeping a blog on People's site... where he revealed that he's dating Heroes V. Villains contestant Courtney Yates...!

"... I should make my biases clear. I’m dating villainess Courtney Yates. JT is my best friend. And I have a strategy crush on Russell."

Further evidence can be found in this sweet interview with Russell Hantz @ the Survivor 10 Year Anniversary Party...

You need to keep your eye on the background:

I'm going to die alone, aren't I...?

Roid Rage (SURVIVOR SPOILERS)

"I haven't seen Heroes go so downhill so fast since NBC decided to teleport Masi Oka back to 17th century feudal Japan."
—from Dalton Ross's recap of Episode 2

Survivor XX heated up in its second week, y'all!

WTF, James? You were sposda be the nice guy. The gentle, steroid-enhanced giant. And yet, you looked like you were on the verge of stomping on Neytiri at the close of Tribal Council...


Well, I have to say that I'm pleased that Amanda is around for a little while longer because I do enjoy looking at her...

Jeff Probst blogs about Episode 2.

Neytiri gives her account of the donnybrook

Live Through This

Reality Television is technically my enemy. It helps put proper Writers Guild writers out of work. (Though reality shows employ writers, their work isn't covered by the guild.)

And still, I must confess... I'm crazy about SURVIVOR.

Wasn't always. Though I watched the finale of the 2nd season in the Australian Outback, I didn't really start watching the series until Season 8: Survivor All-Stars.

I'm just fascinated by the social game of it, okay?

Who I'm rooting for always tends to shift throughout the course of a season. Right now, I'm in it for Russel and Boston Rob and James... but you don't really care about any of this, do you?

SURVIVOR SEASON XX: HEROES VS. VILLAINS
C R U S H E S

Miss Amanda Kimmel. Miss Montana 2005. With your pouty lips and puppy dog eyes. One of the reasons I would never win in SURVIVOR (aside from the fact that I can't swim to save my life or to win an immunity challenge) is because someone like Amanda could bat her lashes at me and I would DO ANYTHING. Including sacrifice a million dollars. Just to have her smile in my direction. :(

Stephenie LaGrossa. I don't really remember her from previous seasons but she is a smoking hot hardbody and she looks like Neytiri and I just sooo want to get it on with an Avatar.

For the SURVIVOR geeks: