Saturday, April 24, 2010

Everything is Falling Apart


[SPOILERS]

I was having a grand time with this season till a few weeks ago. I'm still completely invested in the season—it's the one show that I try to watch on the actual night that it premieres (I let the DVR record at least half an hour before starting, so I can skip the commercials: I like to be good to myself)—but I find the latest developments troubling.

1) Sandra going rogue
2) Parvati telling Amanda that she's got an idol
3) Candice dropping out of the immunity challenge without reason
4) Parvati dropping out of the immunity challenge, essentially telling everyone she's got an idol
5) Parvati not telling Russell about her 2nd idol, using them BOTH at tribal council, using one for Sandra

I don't like Sandra. (Though I confess, I *occasionally* think she's kinda cute in certain shots; hey, what do you want from me here?) It's entirely personal but she and Courtney remind me of a set of catty weasels who'd sit at the back of the classroom, making fun of everyone else and bringing nothing to the table. Courtney did JACK SHIT: sucked at challenges, sucked at strategy. Sandra sucks at challenges and is just doing everything she can to weasel her way further.

But I hate her and I *like* Russell? I don't entirely get it, either. I know there's a way to articulate it but it's complicated. Russell is mean. Overly self-aggrandizing. He's been playing a particularly messy game, IMHO. But there's a sociopathic streak to him that I... identify with just a little bit. Okay, I've said too much. (That's me in the corner.)

I didn't like how Parvati hid her secondary idol from Russell. It was a good idea in theory for her, but she didn't do it to blindside Russell (which would have been the smart game, for her) but merely to show Russell that... what? She's not a pushover? She's not just riding his coattails? That she's got her own game she's playing? She ended up flushing both idols out during the tribal council—which was a cool pimp move and certainly smacked Amanda and the rest of the heroes in the face, which was fun—but all it served to do was:

a) waste an idol on Sandra
b) totally piss off her strongest ally in the game

It would've been slightly better if she'd managed to keep a united tribe together but all she managed to do was keep a completely dysfunctional tribe together.

Jerri did get saved. I think I'm developing feelings for Jerri. There is something sad about her and I find myself drawn to sad girls because then I can be the one to cheer them up. The expression of shock on her face, at being given an immunity idol and at being SAVED, was heartbreaking. Like a beaten dog being given a bowl of food and a gentle pat on the head.

And then, there is JT, Boy Wonder.

Dear, dear JT...

He executed arguably one of the most bone-headed moves in SURVIVOR history: blindly giving an immunity idol to a person he doesn't know on the opposing team. He didn't just give Russell Hantz an immunity idol—he wrote him a love letter to go with it!!! I'm sorry, that's NOT the dumbest move in SURVIVOR history: that's the most ADORABLE move in SURVIVOR history!

He got totally played by Russell but he grinned and shook Russell's hand when it was done. Because he knows it's just a game and I think he's got a sense of humor about it. How many girlfriends does this guy have? It kills me...

I know that some of you (the two of you who actually read these SURVIVOR entries) think that Jeff Probst comes off as an egotistical asshole in his recap blogs. Well, I implore you to read what Probst wrote this week... because I think he breaks new ground. Here's my favorite part, which he drops in, randomly, RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE of the blog entry:
REALLY PERSONAL INSIGHT
In case you’re wondering, my office is pretty small. It’s not connected to my house either. It has hardwood floors that I had to replace about three years ago after a particularly wet winter. I have a poster from a movie I wrote and directed, “Finder’s Fee.” I have a poster from a show I created and hosted, “Live For The Moment” that nobody watched so it’s off the air. I have two very old paintings from one of my grandpa’s. I have a flat screen that my brother mounted on the wall that I never watch and wish wasn’t there. I have an old grandfather clock, a few photos from Survivor, some photos of friends and a few trinkets from my travels. Now you know.
Clap. Clap. Clap.

Thank you, Mr. Probst. The truth is, I don't REALLY read your weekly post-episode blog entries to get a little insider insight into the show. I'm honestly just so fascinated by YOU PERSONALLY that I hunger for these scraps of personal information. I'm inspired by you, truly. In fact—

MALICE'S REALLY PERSONAL INSIGHT
In case you’re wondering, my office is my bedroom and I refer to it as
"The Tomb". I share my apartment with two other roommates and I'm the only one who takes out the trash or removes the leavings in the kitty litter box. I've been thinking about getting a haircut in the near future and there are some shirts I should take to the dry cleaners. Now you know.

Here's Stephen Fishbach's latest blog entry, though I know you won't read it. Some intelligent commentary on the episode, nonetheless.

Oh, and Russell Hantz was in a real life brawl!!! The guy's a berserker—what did you expect?

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