Sunday, March 01, 2015

the cat whisperer


He talks to the cat. It's his cat, he can do whatever the hell he wants (which does NOT include cleaning her litter box on a regular basis, even after I bought him a litter box that's easier to clean) -- it's just awkward listening to him talk to his cat as if he were alone.

And he IS alone. Planted on the living room couch every spare moment. Fermenting.

Thursday, February 19, 2015

Gong Xi Fa Cai

Gong Xi Fa Cai! Gong Hey Fat Choy! Cung hỉ phát tài!

2015: Year of the Goat.

Please drink responsibly.

Saturday, February 14, 2015

The Problem with Valentine's Day...

For the better part of the past decade, I've posted an image of black oil-slick on Valentine's Day...


No commentary. Just a black oil-slick. Where a heart might be.

(It's an image I clipped from the open credit sequence of THE X-FILES MOVIE, btw.)

This is the first Valentine's Day in a long while that I happen to be in a relationship and it occurs to me that "Valentine's Day" penalizes people who aren't in a relationship AND people who ARE in a relationship! If you're a couple and you want to go out on Valentine's Day, it will cost you more. Why? Does that extra profit go towards helping lonely people? It's so cumbersome. Nobody wins.

Friday, February 06, 2015

The Driver's License of Dorian Gray

I got semi-carded at a bar the other night.

"How old are you?"

"Excuse me...?"

"I said, how OLD are you?"

I started to laugh and it occurred to me that I'm asked this so infrequently these days that I had to think for a moment -- how old AM I...? "Thirty-nine."

The bartender gave me another look. "I'll take your word for it."

Understand, I used to ALWAYS get carded. And, increasingly over the years, got a quiet thrill when I handed over my driver's license and saw the shocked expressions when people saw my age. This has become a rarer and rarer incident.

I never thought I'd care about my own age... until I became FUCKING OBSESSED with it.

I was at the gym one time when this guy approached me with a question he prefaced with, "Excuse me, sir..."

"SIR"?! Did I look like I'd been fucking knighted?!? Why the fuck was this kid -- a fellow ASIAN guy, no less -- calling me FUCKING "SIR"??? Because he'd been taught to respect his motherfucking ELDERS?????? FUUUUUUUUUCK YOOOOUUUUUUUUU.

I'm okay. Really. None of this bothers me.

Saturday, January 24, 2015

Manic Pixie Dream Girl

From the Wiki, the "Manic Pixie Dream Girl" was a term coined by critic Nathan Rabin to describe "that bubbly, shallow cinematic creature that exists solely in the fevered imaginations of sensitive writer-directors to teach broodingly soulful young men to embrace life and its infinite mysteries and adventures."

A long time ago, when we were both so much younger, I knew a girl like this. She wasn't necessarily my "type", but I eventually developed a crush on her -- as did a lot of guys around her at the time. She shut me down as she shut down most of those other boys.

I got over it.

We remained friends.

She attended my doomed wedding.

We lost touch over the years, though I'd occasionally see snapshots of her life on Facebook. Not pics I'd necessarily linger on. Simply more posts of people living full lives while I lived my monastic life chasing dragons.

We met up again, at my 39th birthday. And everything changed.

There's more to this. Hopefully. It's complicated because I can't ever fucking have anything that's easy. But for right now...

... we're kind of crazy in love...