(((misanthropy central)))

I'm Afraid of Americans

Yes, a movie adaptation of the classic late-70s arcade game "Asteroids" might seem far-fetched. There was no storyline in the game. The protagonist was a triangle that blasted rocks. In the formative years of the videogame industry, play mechanics trumped stories. I'm working on another project with the producers who are doing the Asteroids movie; no idea what they're thinking, but you can cook up all sorts of outer-space conceits and attach the "Asteroids" brand, so I'm sure they've got something cooking.

No, the cake-taker for far-fetched movie ideas is the "View-Master" movie.

Yes, there are a bunch of classic boardgames being developed into movies lately (Battleship, Candyland, Monopoly), but those boardgames all have *some* sense of narrative in them. Even Ouija has a narrative that could be built from its spare source... it's a witchboard used to communicate with the dead, after all...

But "View-Master"...?

First let me say, I don't buy into all the internet bellyaching over the dearth of creativity in Hollywood. I think it takes far MORE creativity to try to conjure a workable feature film out of some of these spare intellectual properties. Adapting a book is relatively easy: the story's all there. What if your job was to create a dramatic feature-length film out of "Connect Four"? THAT's a real challenge.

The movie studios are parts of big corporations that are looking to maximize their profits. They snap up the rights to these seemingly strange properties NOT because they're all inherently cinematic but because there's instant BRAND RECOGNITION. That's the business end that looks bizarre/absurd from the consumer end. But the fact is, generations have grown up playing with these games/toys. The business wants to capitalize on that level of recognition.

And yet... I admit, I'm stumped by the challenge of creating a "View-Master" movie. Even "Scrabble" can generate a sense of drama.

A "View-Master" is a toy that has no story of its own. It shows still-pictures of other stories. It'd be like trying to make a movie out of "DVD Player" or "Walkman": these are inherently character-less machines that play content but are absolutely useless on their own.

But if I had to speculate... I'd hazard to guess that the movie will involve a *magical* View-Master of some sort...

What's Trent Reznor Twittering?

LOLZ!!!

(This is funny on many levels.)

Monorail Has a Posse

Monorail crash @ Disney World last night at 2am!!!

21 year-old conductor "cast member" perished. No civilians injured.

This is what Disney World gets for buying their monorails from a con-artist.

This seems like an appropriate time to introduce RideAccidents.com, the world's most comprehensive source of amusement ride accident reports—with a record of U.S. ride fatalities dating back to 1972.

This monorail tragedy is happening on the heels of Sarah Palin's abrupt resignation from public office. Coincidence?? Far be it from me to cast wild speculations out into the sanctity of the internets but HARD QUESTIONS MUST BE ASKED!!

And how might this be related to Madonna's Michael Jackson tribute last night? Wholly unrelated, you say? Oh, if I could only see the world through your rose-colored glasses...

Caveat emptor, boys and ghouls.

Jacked

IMHO, the best latter-career Michael Jackson song *and* video is "Scream". That brilliant Janet & Michael number. Directed by the great Mark Romanek (my favorite music video director of all bloody time).

Romanek is terrific at exploiting an artist's unique appeal. In "Scream", he manages to perfectly capture Michael Jackson's anime-like features. Unlike Martin Scorsese's "Bad" wherein MJ seems miscast as a tough-guy in his own video, or any of the videos that try to cast MJ as a skirt-chasing lothario, Romanek doesn't try to unnaturally thug up Michael Jackson. Instead, he enhances Michael Jackson's strengths/essence: his doll-like features, his sense of alienation, his undeniable dance skills. Romanek understands the unique art-form of music videos. He's not trying to make a short film. In that way, he excels where the big-name feature directors fall a bit short in the medium.

There is so much brilliant, iconic imagery throughout "Scream". The black-and-white, blown-out spaceship aesthetic helps to normalize MJ's latter-day pale-skin: he doesn't look as out-of-place as he does in his other videos. He looks so otherworldly, it makes sense to see him on a spacecraft. Romanek knows how to make someone look good.

Romanek also managed to create a video that looks utterly gorgeous but also somehow humanizes both Michael Jackson and Janet Jackson in a way they both needed. You get the sense that Michael and Janet had *fun* making this. Glimpses of sibling rivalry/one-up-manship. A playfulness that seems more real than in most of their other clips.

The Warhol reference is apt in the video. This is some serious pop art. It's a shame that MJ didn't have more genuine hits of this caliber later in his life. The video and song are super-slick but they also seem strangely heartfelt.

The video simultaneous casts Michael Jackson as an alien and humanizes him. Quite a feat.

Ghosts of Michael Jackson

You Entertainment Weekly subscribers read that Stephen King piece this week?

Don't know if YOU TUBE is gonna yank this sucker, but here it is... the entire 35 minutes...

"GHOSTS"
Screenplay by Mick Garris and Stan Winston (RIP)
Story by Mick Garris, Stephen King, Stan Winston (RIP) and Michael Jackson (RIP)

Michael Jackson's attempt to one-up his Thriller video.

Bit of an Epic Fail that gets the concept of "fun scary" wrong at every conceivable turn.

Note how quickly the *angry* suburban mob comes to adore Michael Jackson as soon as he appears. The kids readily accept and adore him. (It's worth noting that this video dropped before all the crazy child molestation charges.) The adults are dancing and having a good time with little resistance. If nobody is afraid and there's no sense of danger, how is anyone supposed to get scared watching this? I remember thinking "Thriller" was legitimately spooky as a kid!

"Scary" is my career now so I'm constantly considering what's genuinely scary and what's not. But I won't belabor this.