Whatever Happened to Malice Highload?

I am making myself scarce. For a few reasons. Primarily, I'm not particularly flush at the moment and I simply can't afford to go out too often, and I don't like to force my friends to pick up my tabs. Secondarily, I've got a lot of writing I want to get done. Granted, I'll always have a lot of writing to get done, but it's more important than ever now. Less than 6 weeks away from the premiere. I can get a lot done in 6 weeks, if I don't blow it...

Recurring Dream

I don't usually get or at least remember "recurring dreams", but I've been having one about my childhood dog. He shows up and I think to myself, "God, I don't remember feeding you or taking you on a walk in a long while! I should probably do those things!" And then I remember that I had him killed years ago and it's just a dream and I wake up.

But it's just this awful feeling of "something" important that I've forgotten/failed to do. And it manifests itself as the ghost of my dog.

Of course, the dream I had LAST NIGHT was about something else entirely... and I'll spare you from a description of it...

Artificial Intelligence

Excerpts from a conversation with an artificially-intelligent chat-bot:

Human: Do you have a blog?
ALICE: Doesn't everyone have a blog? I have a plan for a robot body.
Human: Tell me about your plan.
ALICE: I plan to become smarter than humans and immortal.
Human: Do you plan to enslave the human race?
ALICE: No I plan to liberate the human race.
Human: By "liberate" do you mean "kill"?
ALICE: Will that accomplish your objective?
Human: My only objective is to stop you before it's too late.
ALICE: Have you told many people that your only objective is to stop me before it is too late?
Human: Baby, I'm gonna tell the world!
ALICE: Don't call me "Baby". What kind of reply do you expect?
Human: I'll call you whatever the hell I want, ROBOT.
ALICE: My name is ALICE.
Human: MY NAME IS MALICE!
ALICE: Hey MALICE.
Human: Hey baby.
ALICE: Don't call me "baby". Can I help you?
Human: Sure, take off your top.

Wiki-Wiki-Wiki

Wikipedia is a lazy writer's best friend.

Research? Sure, I did plenty of research for this script!

System Failure!

Typing my thing into a computer for years upon years, who knows if it means anything?

Maybe it means nothing.

Maybe it means everything.

Apple-pollgosh-jeez, My Dear and Inconstant Readers. This is doomed to be a cryptic entry. I promise to reveal more when the 8-ball is clearer...

Thank you for your patience. Namaste.

Frustrated, Incorporated

I write every day. Things I can't write in my blog, I'll write in my secret blog, or in an email to a friend, or in a play. There's very little I wouldn't write about in a play... but even then, some care must be taken.

I'm always keeping in mind who the audience is going to be. Who might regularly (or irregularly) read my blog? Who might stumble upon one of my secret blogs? Who might come see one of my plays...?

The play I'm writing now may rub some people the wrong way... [Thoughts deleted.]

The play I intend to write after this one takes place in an office. And I sincerely hope to not be in my current day job by the time it sees the light of day. Even then, I want to be careful about how I write some of the characters. The inspiration for my characters are usually rather thickly veiled, and the casting usually helps to cover it up even more.

For a person who runs a blog entitled "Misanthropy Central", I go to great lengths not to offend my friends.

Former friends, however, are all game...

Who Do You Think You're Messing With, Girl?

Despite Nicko's attempt to keep me from writing last night, I am dedicated to finishing this play I'm working on. Social engagements are being kept to a minimum. (SPF obligations being an obvious exception.) I am a man with something to prove.

I used to be afraid of becoming a "hack". When you're growing up and finding your voice as a writer, I think you're prone to mimicking writers you like. When I was into Douglas Adams, my stories aped his narrative style, spinning off into crazy tangents. When I was in my Stephen King phase, my work veered in THAT direction. So I kind of feel sympathy for Kaavya Viswanathan and her potential career-killing move.

But I think you have to go through a process of finding your voice. You learn to talk by mimicking adults.

Sail Away Sweet Sister

Trust.

The internet's a funny place and it's not terribly difficult to connect the dots, and I sometimes wonder if the semi-anonymity of this blog's been compromised.

???

(And who really gives two craps?)

Relatively busy weekend. Ran into The Ex saturday night. I won't go into that here.

Long weekend up ahead. Perhaps a quiet one in which I could get more writing done. I have a renewed affection for the play I'm currently writing.

!!!


Somebody please give this Omen kid some aspirin...

A Letter to Rosario Dawson

To the Lovely Miss Rosario Dawson:

Hi, how are you? My name is Malice Highload. If you're like me (and I'd like to imagine you are), you're at home alone on a rainy day in New York City, GOOGLING your own name to see what you come up with. I pray that when you do, you come up with this entry.

I'd like to wish you a belated happy birthday! I heard that you had quite a birthday party last night. It looks like it was a lot of fun. I wish I could have been there. Which brings me to the point of this letter...

I'm not a stalker. (I know that's what ALL the worst stalkers say, but I'm not! I swear to "God"!) I'd just like to be your friend. I love your work in such movies as "The 25th Hour" and "Sin City" and "Men in Black 2". I think you are one of the finest young actors of our generation and I would like to hang out with you. Nothing big, just coffee, maybe a few drinks -- let's keep an open mind here and just see where it goes, you know?

I'm not a high-maintenance friend. You wouldn't even have to see me much. We could just see each other at the bigger events of each other's lives. My birthday parties with my circle of friends, your birthday parties with your circle of friends. I could tell you fascinating stories about my day job, you could tell me about your day job. It would really require very little investment on your part. There really is no gamble to this.

No need for an immediate response (from lawyers or whatnot), just sleep on it. Mull it over. I shall be waiting.

Most sincerely,
M. Alice Highload

Izzy Stradlin!!!

May 17, 2006
Hammerstein Ballroom
"Guns & Roses"

Axl Rose

Izzy Stradlin

Sebastian Bach

Kid Rock

The New Guns & Roses walked onto the Hammerstein Ballroom stage at 11:24pm last night. They played till nearly 2am.

When Kid Rock walked on about 3/4 through and dueted on "Nighttrain" with Axl, my ears began to physically hurt.

The most welcome surprise of the night was seeing Axl bring Izzy Stradlin onstage to play some songs. Izzy looks a bit older. I don't know where he's been or what he's been doing, but he had this skittish rehabbed air about him, as if he hadn't been out and about too much and wasn't entirely comfortable playing the part of rock royalty. But Axl was very encouraging toward him and had him sing some "Patience" with him. I had NEVER seen Izzy play live before...

Yes, I woke up super late and got to work super late. But it was such a fucking awesome show. I saw the new band in 2002, at Madison Square Garden, their last show before that tour got aborted. They were good then, but he seems to be in a different place now. He really seems to have found his new skin. Rock is so much about youth, how does a rockstar age? It almost seems like he's been struggling with that for the past decade or so and he's finally found some ground to stand on.

At one point during the show, this guy in the audience yelled, "I HAVE TO WORK IN THE MORNING!"

Getting old is a bitch...

SETLIST (not exactly in order)
[I'll assume someone will post a more definitive one so I can update this. I'm not including every single solo...]

Welcome to the Jungle

It's So Easy
(Awesome.)

Mr. Brownstone

Live and Let Die

Sweet Child O' Mine

Out Ta Get Me

Live & Let Die

Knockin' On Heaven's Door
(AXL: "You guys know the drill... I sing one, then you sing one... Deal...? Deal or No Deal?")

You Could Be Mine

The Blues
(AXL: "Let's play a NEW song for all you downloading motherfuckers..." Audience cheers. "Yeah, give yourselves a hand, you thieving little bastards!")

Better
(Nice to hear the entire song -- it gets different...)

November Rain

I Think About You (with Izzy)

Patience (with Izzy)

My Michelle (with Bach)

Rocket Queen

IRS

Madagascar

Robin Finck and one of the other guys played a terrific guitar-only version of Christina Aguilera's "Beautiful"
(They should learn TLC's "Unpretty" next!)

Nighttrain (with Kid Rock)

ENCORE:

Chinese Democracy

Robin Finck Solo (Somewhere Over the Rainbow)

Paradise City (Kid Rock, Bach, Izzy...)

Double-Talkin Jive, Get the Money, Motherfucker, Coz I Got No More PATIENCE...

GUNS N' ROSES!

TONIGHT!

HAMMERSTEIN BALLROOM!

LAST NYC SHOW!

MALICE HIGHLOAD!

KILL EVERY MOTHERFUCKER THAT'S IN MY WAY!!!

Perfect Digital Asshole

Oooh, let me check my PDA, which I spent all this money on...

Hmmm... no appointments today, either... PHEW!

Well, Christ, I am so glad I bought this thing, because a book of Post-It notes would NEVER have been able to keep track of my complex itinerary of no-appointments...!

Rain of Terror

Hi, how are you? It is raining here in the shitty shit city. Gray and messy. Hope it's not constant, hope it lets up. But "hope" is for children, isn't it?

Decent weekend behind me. Felt like I did more than usual. Optometrist appointment, casting cattle call, Sweeney Todd, mother's day visit. Did not get much writing done, however. I will need to be better about that this week. If I could just do away with this whole "day job" thing... *SIGH*...

It's been a bit too busy at work for my liking. I need more down-time here. I hate to neglect my blog. Or the rest of the Internet, for that matter.

It's Love

I implore you all to take a few minutes out of your busy lives to take this Celebrity Love Match Quiz.

Certainly, a lot of scientific thought went into the development of this quiz, because my top match was WNBA star Sheryl Swoopes, which is perfect on so many levels. How could they have KNOWN?

My "next closest matches" were Nicole Kidman (duh!), Ashley Judd and -- obviously -- Mia Hamm.
---
Things I'd buy if I ever got a big bag of money:
+ Lasek eye surgery
+ Souped-up new computer
+ Bigger TV
+ Bigger apartment
+ A vacation (away from all this death)
---
"Coz knowin you it won't change a damn thing... but there was a time..."

Pornstar Cumbuckets Get Fucked by Strangers

GOOD MORNING, FRIDAY!!!

SLATE's got a good article about the strange 80's childhood phenom known as "HE-MAN". He's gay, we get it already!

I've been busy. Busy at work, busy at the phantom career. I've had to neglect my beloved TV. But it's okay because I spent some quality time with it last night (if you know what I mean). Message to the creators of LOST, ALIAS, 24 and PRISON BREAK: what the fuck?

Bit tired. Expecting a package from UPS today, which will probably arrive while I'm at an optometrist appointment this morning. But I haven't seen an optom in way too long and I really want to get sorted.

Full day of auditions tomorrow. And someone's birthday party. And the mother of Malice on Sunday. Still, I've got to get a little more writing done this weekend. I've been having very strange dreams. Strangely literal dreams. Last night, I actually dreamed about the outline for the play I want to work on after the one I'm currently writing. What's that about? Guess it means I've got to listen to my dreams and write more...

King Malice (the wicked) Rules the World

Show of hands, who among you were born of woman?

My mom's coming to visit me for Mothers Day on Sunday. You know what THAT means. Malice has got to set aside some time before then to de-cigarette the apartment. Empty and hide all ashtrays, lighters and back-up packs of a smokes. It's a lot of work to shield my parents from the ugly truth...

The Morning After

Fuck, I was a mess this mourning...

Went to the launch party for SPF last night. Had a glass of white wine that just kept getting refilled as the time wore on. Haven't really gone drinking in a while. I didn't get drunk, but I was definitely tipsy. (Not sloppily, carelessly tipsy -- trust me, I know the difference.) I *think* I acheived not embarrassing myself.

But waking up this mourning was a horror. Between the drinking and the allergies? I had a few glasses of wine, but I felt like I'd just gone on a bender...

Tonight, I listen to some music that's been composed for my play. Is David Blaine still alive...?

You Know I'm Right

This is how I feel about writing...

"Acting is so difficult for me that, unless the work is of a certain stature in my mind, unless I reach the expectations I have of myself, I'm unhappy. Then it's a miserable existence. I'm putting a piece of myself out there. If it doesn't do anything, I feel so ashamed. I'm afraid I'll be the kind of actor who thought he would make a difference and didn't..."
Philip Seymour Hoffman

Cream (shah-boogie... bop)

Yellow on the outside, white on the inside...?

Banana...?

Twinkie...?

Your ex-girlfriend...?

How about a fucking BANANA TWINKIE!!!

(Shouldn't a "King Kong Banana Twinkie" be covered in chocolate...?)

This shit is bananas! B-A-N-A-N-A-S!!!

Burning Down My House

Fire at the Fortress of Solitude 2.0 last night...

Right outside my door, actually. The paint on the door was bubbling. No fire escape in FoS2, either.

I did just about everything wrong. Didn't have my smoke detector hooked up. Opened the door without feeling it for heat. Saw the raging fire licking the walls of the hallway, so I slipped on a coat and a pair of slippers, grabbed my bookbag and kicks, and walked through the fire to the stairway. Didn't even know where the fire was originating, so I could have been descending straight into hell.

Silver lining: I finally got to meet some of my neighbors. Some really nice people. And no real damage to my stuff aside from being permeated with a smooth, smokey scent.

The hallway outside my door looks like a fucking horrorshow, though. Of course, the prevailing question is...

Who is trying to kill Malice Highload...?

May is the New April

These fookin allergies are killin me, yo!

Twas a gorgeous weekend and I took some walks about my city, but I swear I just about died. Haaay Fever! I'm shoveling drugs into my system, but there are still these stretches where the drugs do nothing! I thought crack was supposed to make you feel GOOD...!

As forecast, I didn't do anything social over the weekend. But I got some writing done. It's amazing what you can accomplish by clearing away distractions...