Muppet Unmasked

The Way You Move is a Mystery

I've a meeting with a producer from Dark Castle on Friday, about this new project I've been developing. Any meeting that is not a conference call is a nice change of pace for me. I think I make a better impression in person. I've got all the crazy ink on me. And I don't think I *look* like the average Hollywood screenwriter.

I was at a bar last week and this woman approached me to get a closer look at my tattoos. I started telling her as little as possible about them and then she asked me where I was from. I thought it was one of those ethnicity questions but she clarified that it was my accent that she couldn't quite place. And it reminded me that I've got a very peculiar accent when I've had a few adult beverages. Some bastardization of British and Irish. It happens naturally and consistently, unconsciously. I don't know precisely where it comes from beyond a lifelong determination to not be the person that I am. Even my sober accent doesn't convey my predominantly New York upbringing.

I sometimes think it's a miracle that I have any friends.

Muppet Sex & Violence

For Nick/Emma/Georgia/Dahlia. One of the pilots produced for The Muppet Show back in March 19, 1975.

The Armies of the Night Are Coming

The new draft is in. You usually aim to turn a draft in on a Friday so people can have the weekend to read it. Turning one in on a Sunday night is sort of pointless. But it made me feel better all the same.

Holy shit, that draft was a pain in the ass. I really knocked my head against the wall with it. Probably made it more difficult than it had to be. You're dealing with such a range of feedback. Simple corrections to be made. Clarifications of descriptions/motivations/logic. (These can be the biggest pain.) Reinvention of entire scenes and sequences. And once you've addressed the entire checklist of notes, you've got to comb through the script again to make sure the damn thing still functions as a story.

Oh, look at you getting bored as I prattle on about things you don't care about! Here's an old animated gif for you to enjoy:


There's nothing like turning in a script draft to lift your burdens. If only for a while. We take what we can get around these parts.

This week, anything goes. Ready or not, here I come, you can't hide.

Movin' Right Along!

Rise of the Planet of the Asians

From this NYT article:

Not so long ago, the phrase “New York’s Chinatown” meant one thing: a district in Lower Manhattan near Canal Street. Now it could refer to as many as six heavily Chinese enclaves around the city.

New York Asians seek POWER! Unlimited POWERRRR!!!

(((P.S. I'm Asian.)))

How Jumpman Became Mario

This will only appeal to the uber-nerds who know that Mario was originally called "Jumpman" and was a carpenter instead of a plumber.

Everyone else: I got nothing for ya. Grab your torches, head back to camp.

Pictures!

Hi!

Here's another interesting photo blog!

See ya!

Cryptogram Central

It was easier to write this blog when I knew that nobody read it.

Sunday was F-Day.

Went to the Central Park Zoo and had a picnic with some college friends and their growing broods. Then I had a whole hell of a lot of time to myself.

Didn't call my dad. So sue me. Ended up sending him a brief email in the late afternoon. I don't like talking to him when I don't have some good/promising news to share. He doesn't understand most of my career stuff anyway. Few people understand this peculiar relationship I've got with my old man. You might get it if you spent some time with him.

In any case, that guilt weighed on me. And then I was trying to refocus on pushing forth on this last draft of the script I've been working on.

And then there was ONE MORE THING I intended to do Sunday night...

... and I couldn't do it. I choked. I got lost in my head. I built it up too much and then I lost my spine as I tried to build it down.

I hate this.

There are times when I have complete confidence. And there are other times when I can't even look at the mirror. I have worked so hard to rebuild myself over the years. But some days it still feels like it's not good enough. I marvel at how cruel I can be toward myself. The inner monologue that motivates me to improve myself can twist into something that simply cuts me down. That's when I don't even want to be seen. Days I just want to slip on an invisibility cloak.

One day, I'll be better.

Stephen Colbert's Commencement Speech @ Northwestern

My graduating class really got screwed for speakers back in 1997. We got grumpy old Bill Cosby, way past his prime. And former governor of New Jersey (?!) Christine Todd Whitman -- who fucking referenced Forrest Gump without irony.

Cutting Edge of 1987

The portable laptops are hilarious.

I had that Mr. Gameshow thing back in the day. Minutes of fun on a Christmas morning!

Like a Toy You Can Eat

What is the Internet K-Hole?

My friend Nick forwarded me the url for this picture blog called Internet K-Hole, with no explanation. The blog itself offers no explanation for itself. A stream of pictures, mostly without captions. Private photos, celebrity photos, private celebrity photos: alternately innocuous, unsettling, NSFW, random. Famous and nameless people, jumping decades. There's a connective tissue with some of them but it mainly seems like a pictorial stream of consciousness.

And it's easy to get lost in the seemingly endless k-hole of images, scrolling through the curiosities. Wondering about some of the stories.

You Probably Think This Blog Is About You

KILL BOB. KILL BOB. KILL BOB. KILL BOB. KILL BOB. KILL BOB. KILL BOB.
KILL BOB. KILL BOB. KILL BOB. KILL BOB. KILL BOB. KILL BOB. KILL BOB.
KILL BOB. KILL BOB. KILL BOB. KILL BOB. KILL BOB. KILL BOB. KILL BOB.
KILL BOB. KILL BOB. KILL BOB. KILL BOB. KILL BOB. KILL BOB. KILL BOB.
KILL BOB. KILL BOB. KILL BOB. KILL BOB. KILL BOB. KILL BOB. KILL BOB.
KILL BOB. KILL BOB. KILL BOB. KILL BOB. KILL BOB. KILL BOB. KILL BOB.
KILL BOB. KILL BOB. KILL BOB. KILL BOB. KILL BOB. KILL BOB. KILL BOB.
KILL BOB. KILL BOB. KILL BOB. KILL BOB. KILL BOB. KILL BOB. KILL BOB.
KILL BOB. KILL BOB. KILL BOB. KILL BOB. KILL BOB. KILL BOB. KILL BOB.
KILL BOB. KILL BOB. KILL BOB. KILL BOB. KILL BOB. KILL BOB. KILL BOB.
KILL BOB. KILL BOB. KILL BOB. KILL BOB. KILL BOB. KILL BOB. KILL BOB.
KILL BOB. KILL BOB. KILL BOB. KILL BOB. KILL BOB. KILL BOB. KILL BOB.
KILL BOB. KILL BOB. KILL BOB. KILL BOB. KILL BOB. KILL BOB. KILL BOB.
KILL BOB. KILL BOB. KILL BOB. KILL BOB. KILL BOB. KILL BOB. KILL BOB.

Sesame Street Spoofs Spider-Man Musical

BURN~!!!

Bono and The Edge talk more candidly about the Spider-Man Musical (thanks Nick).

Katz Deli Routine

Hey, everybody just discovering Zach Galifischnatkiss now! News Break: the guy's been around forever! Here's an oldie but goodie. Watch it.

What ?? You don't watch videos on this here blog? Trust me. WATCH THIS.

(Glaser steals it.)

A Matter of Taste: Serving Up Paul Liebrandt

Hey, foodies! YEAH, YOU!!!

Fascinating doc that's been airing on HBO, tracking the career of a hot NYC chef over years. Watch it.

Conan Commencement Speech @ Dartmouth

Apologies if you can't watch this at work. This is for NickEmma who don't have regular television.

Chrysler Batmobile

Spotted this parked inconspicuously on the Upper East Side. WTF is this?

(Can't see it in the pics but Batman logos are on the rims, too.)

Do the Wrong Thing

"Children's Hospital" is such a brilliant show on Adult Swim. My favorite thing on the Cartoon Network.

Here are the end credits to an episode -- an homage to DO THE RIGHT THING with a track called "I Killed Cancer". Apologies to the worker bees who can't watch vids at their cubicles. It's worth viewing later.

While it lasts: my rendition of the theme from SHEENAH: QUEEN OF THE JUNGLE

Hell on Earth

It's been offensively hot in the city. Thursday promises to break into the 90s again. It really puts a drag on things.

A project I worked on two years ago is back in the press. I was never officially signed onto the project: I was one of four writers being considered for the gig. But part of chasing after a gig is pitching the entirety of what you'd do with the story and I did a fair amount of work on this. Never got rejected, it just fizzled out. And now it's back out there, without a writer (publicly) attached.

I'm afraid to ask about it. I don't want to know about it if it's going to somebody else. I wince at the prospect of some of my original ideas getting woven into the project with someone else writing it. I've got other things I'm working on. Original properties. But it's like an ex declaring that she's newly single. Even if you've moved on, it stings.

More so in the heat.

Still, making steady progress on my draft this week. It could be better but I'm plugging away and I'm thankful that people aren't on my back screaming for it. Yet. I've gone through most of the little changes throughout and now I'm dealing with the two major scenes that I need to reinvent. This would be easier if the city weren't so goddamn hot.

The Cinnabon Bit

Classic.

Memories From Martha’s Vineyard

Hi. I'm a little too busy to tend to this blog properly at the moment.

Here's something for you to read, Jenny. (Others may read it as well.)

New interview with Spielberg about JAWS.

Hula POV

Jedi Douchebags

Jack Kevorkian Has a Posse

Jacob "Jack" Kevorkian
May 26, 1928 – June 3, 2011
Jack Kevorkian has a posse.

"Your replacement product is ready for pickup."

I received this email Thursday afternoon, June 2. From donotreply@apple.com.

Initially, I thought it was some phishing scam but a quick search did not yield any glaring story out there. The email doesn't ask for any information and doesn't try to persuade you to click on anything.

A search for the phone number brings us to this place in Dedham, MA.

So... what's the gag here?

I've lost a few iPods, years ago. Could one of them have landed in Massachusetts? Still, somehow, linked to me?

Revenge of June

Hi. It's me. Remember me? Hi.

It's June. It's fucking June. Month 6 of 12. Halfway point. Holy fucking shit. Are you kidding me?

Garbage pick-up sucks around this building. I have to do laundry. I have to get my room in order. It's simply devolved into chaos. The heat and humidity of the past week does little to lighten my mood.

And I'm behind on a script draft I should have made far more progress on.

Here are some funny/amusing things for you to read:

Most Interesting Geek in the Galaxy

Body Slam

MacBook Revenge

The probability of two people having the same birthday

This is June

It is disgusting outside.