Rejection World

I've a good friend who's always sending me career opportunities. Contests and fellowships and anything that might offer a lead or a boost.

I pursue them when I can manage to make the deadlines, when I can manage to scrape together the effort.

Part of sending out for these things is weathering rejections, obviously.

The most recent rejection was for this thing called the "Made in NY Writers Room", which I think is an inaugural diversity fellowship sort of thing. I had to submit an original pilot script. I dug one up that I wrote over a decade ago. Because of a catastrophic computer crash I suffered a few years back, I didn't even have an editable copy of the thing so I couldn't edit/revise what I had. Just submitted a PDF of the script as it was.

The rejection came in the form of an email that offered, as a consolation prize, an attachment of TWO critiques of my script contributed by two anonymous "industry writers".

I could barely bring myself to open up the file. The first line in the first critique was "Not believable."

I couldn't roll my eyes hard enough before shutting the file.

I guess these critiques would be useful to someone just starting out. For me: pointless and insulting. I spent years addressing the notes of producers and managers and executives: you NEED to address those notes in order for your project inch forward. Doesn't matter if they're wrong, if they're taking the project in a different direction: you just want to get everyone on the same page before you move forward.

But bullshit notes from two anonymous writers who helped cockblock you from some diversity fellowship program?

FUCK THAT TO OBLIVION.

I know I've been trying to get my groove back for a while and a lot of people have written me off... but I just need to believe in what I'm doing. I fell down this rabbit hole of just trying to get any writing assignment that came my way and it wasn't working. So I need to be creating my own work that I really believe in... which is what I'm trying to do.

Debbie Reynolds Has a Posse

Mary Frances "Debbie" Reynolds
April 1, 1932 – December 28, 2016
Debbie Reynolds has a posse.

2016 is celebrity carnage. Anyone else going to get in under the wire? Clock is ticking.

Carrie Fisher Has a Posse

Carrie Frances Fisher
October 21, 1956 – December 27, 2016
Carrie Fisher has a posse.

This year is going out like a fucking berserker, piling up the suck before it winks out.

Elly Adventures: Disney World 2016

Elly is a 29 year old barista from Ohio who beat breast cancer this year. She created a community ("Let's Grab Coffee") on a new social media platform ("imzy") that helped the platform raise $8 million in funding. Encouraged by community members, she set up a crowd-funding project to raise money so that she could afford to travel a little and create artistic content. She didn't ultimately meet her crowd-funding goals but she raised a little money and I invited her on a trip to Disney World where we made this video.

This was all shot using an iPhone and an iPad.

George Michael Has a Posse

Georgios Kyriacos Panayiotou
June 25, 1963 – December 25, 2016


George Michael has a posse.



2016 is relentless.

The Deuce (Season 1) End Date

And so it ends.

How innocent I was in the beginning...

Was this the worst job I've had since embarking on this side-career? I've had worse commuting situations and workloads (NONSTOP). And one job was murder for the first 1/3 or 1/2 until I got into the swing of it and earned some respect (WIZARD OF LIES)... after which, it was actually one of my better work situations. And then there was the little reshoot I did before this gig that was just the perfect storm of suck (Money Monster) -- shitty commute, toxic personality clashes, every day a powder keg. THAT job directly led to THIS job, which is just poetic.

I'd say, all in all, this has been the most dysfunctional gig I've ever done. I'm writing this before I head into my final day. I've been doing the work that my subordinate should have been doing. None of them are going to read this because I don't think they know how to use the internet: this was the shittiest team ever.

What about the GOOD, Malice? Can you try to tell us about the GOOD...?

Well, once I got the hang of my personal responsibilities on this gig, it became routine and relatively simple. I had to act as my own clerk, but it was nice not to deal with the rest of the clerking shit. And it was my best paying gig, which made life so much easier.

But because I was handling my own workload, I had to help OTHER people with THEIR workload. I help other people with their responsibilities and nobody helps me with mine.

And, of course, the clerk wasn't really doing her own clerk work, which is what really fucked us in the end. (This was her first/final clerking gig: she'd spent the majority of her working life as a bartender and our 1st assistant convinced her to switch careers. But the 1st is a terrible teacher, the clerk was a terrible student, everyone was miserable, and she was let go a month before the end.)

I stayed late last night making a box inventory and making/printing/affixing box labels. The top guy in our department, who kept pacing about -- NOT LIFTING A FINGER TO HELP -- complaining about things not getting done at the end (because he was too cheap to hire clerks), who kept saying everyone had to stay late... HE AND HIS GIRLFRIEND LEFT BEFORE EVERYONE ELSE. His 1st assistant, who subjected everyone to DAILY MELTDOWNS because of the stress, who hired the TWO SHITTIEST, SLOWEST CLERKS IN THE UNIVERSE, left at 4pm because she had to pick up her kids. The penultimate day.

I packed up my "kit"... which is just an overstuffed cardboard box with an adding machine and a fuckload of office supplies. Dismantled my computer at the end of the night because the computers are getting picked up early. Took the subway home lugging my kit and a bookbag filled with soda from the pantry.

With the computers gone, there's not much I can do today besides help with the boxing efforts. My last two paychecks are in the bank and I've got everything I need, so theoretically I could just NOT bother going in today, or rage-quit mid-morning.

Wednesday -- April 20, 2016 -- to Friday -- December 9, 2016.

And now I have no job prospects. Hooray for 2016!