Saturday, April 02, 2011

Fear

Fear of Missing Out.

It's early evening on a warm Saturday night in Manhattan.

I am alone in my Tomb where I have been for the better part of the past 24 hours. Trying to finish the second draft of a script so that I might possibly dare to send it out this evening.

My social life is in shambles. It seems that there are waves of time when I don't have any friends to go out with.

I don't have a fear that I'm missing out: I have knowledge that I'm missing out. I have a fear that I'm going to die alone and my body won't be discovered for weeks. Is there a cute acronym for that?

Okay. All right. Those are the negative thoughts.

The positive...

Just finished the second draft of this script. It's tighter. There's some cool new material in it. If we can get it off the ground and set it up at a decent studio, that will be great for my career. The sacrifices I've made to write this script (nights out that I've missed) will be paid for. There are far greater nights out ahead of me if I can just stay strong through these bleak hours.

Okay, I'm going a little mad, ha ha. Losing my mind to the isolation. Need to have a little more faith in the future. A little faith in all tomorrow's parties.

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