morning after the end of the world

sometimes when there's something i'm dreading, i'll fixate on the date for weeks, months.

in three weeks, that bad thing is going to happen. in two weeks, that bad thing is going to happen. in four days, that bad thing is going to happen. today, that bad thing is going to happen.

and then it's a blur.

and i wake up the day after. and i'm almost amazed that there is a calendar date after that bad thing.

but sometimes it's the memory that kills...