When You Walk Through the Garden

It occurs to me that I'm not a very good writer.

Not that my writing is bad—though it clearly is at times—but my actual writing habits are atrocious. As much as the writing has evolved over the years, the actual organic writing process probably hasn't really changed much since I was in junior high school. And I'll be the first to admit that I need to take a long hard look at that.

For fans of The Wire, I suggest listening to the commentary track of Season 3, Episode 2. It's solely the writer of the episode, Richard Price.

It actually made me feel a lot better. The guy's been writing novels and screenplays for decades, and he talks about being intimidated by living up to the sophistication of the writing in the show.

He's frank about his ignorance about certain subjects. The episode contains a scene that involves a dog fighting ring, and Price confesses he had no background on that world. It's a writer's worst fear: having to write about a subject he knows nothing about. Like Barton Fink writing a boxing movie.

(Or me writing about fucking dairy farms.)

But he manages to write the scene by cribbing off some notes of another writer. And for some of the scenes where there's banter among politicians, he consults heavily with someone to make sure it makes sense... to the point where he doesn't even feel personally connected to some of the scenes he's written!

Any case, somebody was whining to me about how there isn't enough eye-candy on THE WIRE. So, you KNOW this muh-fucking entry hadda be comin...

THE WOMEN OF 'THE WIRE'
(that Malice has a thing for)

Ahhh, Officer Beadie. Introduced in Season 2. Played by the stunning Amy Ryan. A portrait of understated beauty. Patrolling the docks wearing those adorable headphones. Don't you just want to save her from that incorrigible horndog McNulty?

Detective Greggs. Kima. Sonja Sohn. Half-black, half-Korean. Full-on, drop-dead lovely. Like Beadie, they dress her pretty plainly. They take a beautiful girl and hide her away from the rest of the world. But they're both still hot as hell on that show.

McNulty's annoying ex-wife. I don't care though, 'cuh CALLIE THORNE PRETTY. (Girl power.) THE WIRE's creator, David Simon, was involved with HOMICIDE: LIFE ON THE STREET in its later years, so you see some of these latter-year HOMICIDE cast members on this show.

(Yes, HOMICIDE was initially based on his book, but he didn't get involved with that show creatively until later in its run. Okay?)

And then we've got little Felicia Pearson. I raced through Season 3 specifically looking for this girl. Authentic street thug girl. Looks like she stepped right out of The Boondocks. I swear, she's got about 5 lines total in Season 3 (and I couldn't understand any of them), but I hear she's a much larger presence in Season 4.

All right, she might be a little too thug life for me. And she's a lesbian in real life, so that kills the dream a bit more. But I like looking at her, so I guess we've got a problem here, don't we?

"Look like YOU got the muh'fuh'n prah'luhm, feel me?" snapped the Gay Horse. "Yo, yo, yo, WMD, we got WMD!"

Hamsterdam Shuffled 5:
1. "Ohio", Red Molly
2. "The Voyeur of Utter Destruction (As Beauty)", David Bowie
3. "I Get Around", Beach Boys
4. "Thinking About Tomorrow", Beth Orton
5. "Heaven Tonight", Cheap Trick
Stringer Bell Bonus:
"Specialist", Interpol

TGIF Laugh Corner:
Corey Haim cries like a bitch over LOST BOYS 2.

(Sing it, Iha!)