Flying Lessons

A new chapter in The Adventures of Malice in Hollywood. I hear nothing for weeks—and suddenly, I'm supposed to hop on an aeroplane in two days.

Wednesday morning, to be exact. Subject to change. Meeting with producers. The contract between the studio and the production company is still being finalized, so I'm told to keep things under wraps (oops!)... but posting shit on my blog seems to be just as good as keeping things under wraps. (Unless one o' you fucks squeals on me.)

I've been told that the studio is waiting for the deal to finalize, at which point they'll "make an announcement"...

I've been waiting for them to make an announcement since last August!

I mean, for all I've talked about this thing, what solid proof have I offered anyone...?

This reminds me of a guy I used to know in college who called himself Zach Taylor...
You might remember him from the enduring classic, "Camp Stories"...

He was part of our little circle of friends freshman year at NYU. He seemed thoroughly average at the time. As we got to know him, he started parceling out some increasingly outlandish tales. Apparently, he was an actor who'd had a major role in the TV drama "I'll Fly Away". He was good friends with Brad Pitt and Elton John and Tommy Lasorda. His father was a doctor... and a spy... and a Transformer...

We were college freshmen, we all bought it—up to a point. This was the dark ages before the Internet had visuals. IMDB was probably nothing more than a newsgroup with some lists on it. Those days, you couldn't debunk a lie with a 5-second search.

Most of all, we just wanted to believe him. And we did... till the lies and empty-promises started toppling around him.

I haven't seen Zach in years. But I've certainly met a lot of people like him. People who claim to know people they probably don't know. People who try to lure you with promises they can't keep. I see a glimmer of Zachary Taylor in someone and I know to be careful.

And one of the weirdest things I'm learning about the entertainment industry is how it helps breed characters like Zach. It's so easy to lie. Even with the Internet. Hell, the Internet becomes a tool to help you lie better. The industry may be a small town, but if you're not in it, or if you're just starting out and you don't know anybody... well, you just have to take a leap of faith with certain things. And hope that the deal you landed with a major movie studio doesn't turn out to be an email hoax.

All that's a long way of highlighting the fact that I've given most of you NO concrete evidence of anything over the past 11 months. You've just, generously, taken my word for it.

Well, there should be some better evidence soon. The studios need some new franchises.