A Shrine to Carrie Ann Inaba

This is Misanthropy Central's 666th entry (in case you've lost count), and to mark the occasion I'd like to declare my love for former In Living Color Fly-Girl Carrie Ann Inaba.

"Hey, Malice!!! You've never met the woman and you've only barely skimmed her surprisingly robust Wikipedia entry! Are you certain it's love?"

Yes, Billy. I know what love is. This is love. A true, pure, unsullied love. The kind of love that can only be established by seeing a 2-second close-up shot of a girl on television when you're 14. And then rewatching a rerun of that same show when you're 30, and remembering the girl, and then looking her up on the internet for more information.

"But Malice!!! Couldn't you be confusing love with lonely, desperate, pathetic lust?!"

No, Billy, this love is real. Wanna know how I know? Because the internet tells me she's a scant 5 years older than me, which means we'd be perfect together. Do you know how rare it is to have a childhood crush on a celebrity and still be able to have a relationship with that celebrity when you're an adult without the age disparity being alarming?

"Malice!!! Even if you honestly 'love' this Carrie Ann Inaba, don't you think you've written too many blog entries this weekend?! Supply is already exceeding demand by a fairly large margin!!! Don't you have more important things to do?!?!?"

Billy... this is important. It's important to me. Now stop looking at me that way. You're creeping me the fuck out, kid...


"..."