it's not as much fun to pick up the pieces

this has been a bad year for me. it is ending poorly. there is no escaping that. no spinning it into something more positive.

toward the end, i got my ass kicked so righteously, so excellently, i've had to relearn how to walk.

the last few weeks have been a time for heavy soul-searching. never fun. the enemy of fun. i have some deep regrets over many things this year. hard to make peace with myself. hard to stop thinking about all the things that went wrong.

but i am trying to let go.

i have got a lot i need to do in the new year.

light a candle.