scorched earth

thinking about it, talking about it, writing about it, trying to avoid it completely, beating myself up while simultaneously trying to make peace with myself. my fucking life has turned into some interminable, overwrought scene from Magnolia.

it doesn't make sense and i wanna turn it off.

if money weren't an issue, i'd travel.

well, if money weren't an issue, i'd buy a huge brownstone. but i'd also travel. go somewhere that's not so utterly tainted for a while. if i didn't have to worry about money, i'd escape for a good, long stretch.