You Don't Know What It's Like

Nick finds some of my entries depressing. Here's one for the collection.

I was thinking, recently, about what would happen if I disappeared.

If I got hit by a car or a piano fell on my head, that would be one thing. It might be an amusing NY1 news story, I'd probably have identification on me: people would know that I was gone.

But for fun, let's say I died in my apartment. Maybe I "accidentally" overdosed on sleeping pills. Or I got clumsy with a razor blade, cut my wrists open and lost track of time in a warm bath. You know, whatever. One thing leads to another and then -- OOPS -- I'm dead. I lived alone and I'm dead alone.

How long would it be before ANYONE knew I was gone?

I write a bunch of blog entries in advance and have them scheduled to publish automatically at specific dates/times. You'd probably see new blog entries being published here posthumously! (For all you know, I might be dead already.)

I could go for a long time without seeing specific friends. Even if I'd made plans and never showed, what then? They'd send me a few text messages. A few phone calls. A few emails. It'd be easy to write it off as me just flaking out. For a while, at least.

Paramount would try to call and email. Then my managers would probably check in to see what's up. After that, my lawyer might try to step in. I wonder if my lawyer might actually have someone try to check up on me, or file some police report.

Days would go by. Weeks, maybe.

Certain people might worry but what would they do?

The sickening thing is, I'm willing to bet that the first person to discover me would probably be my fucking Russian super.

My mailbox would fill up pretty quickly. My rent would go unpaid. Pretty soon, that motherfucker would probably just open up my door to see what's what. Maybe he'd steal some stuff before reporting me.

And then I'd be one of those fucking news stories that OTHER people could irreverently blog about. And thus, the circle of blog would continue.

Well, let's just hope that this blog entry doesn't become an eerie foreshadowing of what's to come. (Cross those fingers!) But next week, when you're reading entries about "Michael Chang" and "the controversy over FAT PRINCESS", know that I could be dead already.

Welcome to August. Have a drink and hang out a little.