Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Writing on the Wall


I don't need no arms around me!
And I don't need no drugs to calm me!
I have seen the writing on the wall!
Don't think I need anything at all!
Nooo!
Don't think I need anything at all!

Can you believe July is nearly done for? (Believe it.)

For entertainment purposes, I revisited the blog entries I wrote two years ago, in August 2006. That month following my big SPF show. (Start at the bottom and scroll your way up.)

To offer some context, I was still working at Bear Stearns. Bear Stearns was still a company that existed. And I had no idea what I was going to do next.

It's surprising how generally bummed I seem toward the beginning of the month. SPF had been such a huge boost for me that July but I had no idea what my prospects were when it was over.

I'd gotten some notice, a handful of regional theaters were interested in reading my playscript, but the world had not completely transformed as I'd secretly hoped it would. I still didn't have an agent, which was the most basic thing that I'd hoped for from the experience. I was back at the day job full-time, trying to make peace with what I had.

Some foreshadowing from my August 9th entry:

"As I left the office yesterday, I found a $20 on the floor in the lobby. Finders keepers, suckas! A sign of better things to come?"

My August 10th entry shows how I was beginning to feel a little better about the world. Started to appreciate what I'd accomplished, determined to build upon it.

My August 16th entry marks where my fortunes clearly change.

This is the shit I need to remember. When I get really bummed out. I've come so fucking far. I've still got a lot of fighting to do before I'm somewhere secure but I've gotten this far. I've got to respect that.

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