Somnolent Confessional

Recently, I dreamed that I'd killed someone.

Let me be clear, I didn't dream that I was killing someone. I dreamed that I had killed someone. In the past. Specifically, at some point in my adolescence.

I don't even remember what was actively going on in the dream that provoked this memory. But in the dream, I suddenly remembered that I had accidentally killed someone years ago. That I had repressed the memory, somehow reconciled the accidental murder in my head...

But as I prodded at this memory, I began to remember more details. Like disposing of the body. Chopping it into pieces and burying them.

Years had passed. No one had ever discovered the body. I had gotten away with murder.

And what I was left to ponder was... assuming that "God" is a fiction... what did it really matter?

After I woke up, it took me a while to realize that I hadn't actually murdered anyone. And the sad thing is, I really had to think hard about it...

For your perusal:

A Fall 2001 email exchange between Freaks & Geeks's Judd Apatow and That 70s Show's Mark Brazill.