The Bad Son

Phone call, with dad:

"Hi, Malice, tenks for calling me back!"

"Hey, dad. What's up?"

"Did you see da papers? Da news about deh Beep Recall?"

"Deep Recall? What is that?"

"BEEP RECALL."

"Deep Recall? Is that a company?"

"No, *BEEP* RECALL. Dere's a spokesperson for de company, Topps Meat..."

"Ohhh, *beef* recall..."

"Yes, beep recall! Dere's a spokesperson for Topps Meat wit your mudder's name..."

(checking internet) "Yeah, look at that..."

"I tot it was your mudder, so I called your seestar, but your seestar sed it wasn't her. But I tot it was punny..."

"Yeah, pretty funny..."

"So, what about your ex? Do you talk to her?"

"Nope."

"But you are een da same, what-do-you-call, business..."

"Not really. She's only in theater. She's behind me."

"But she studies so much."

"She's had a lot of school, but it doesn't make a difference. I've been writing a lot longer than she has."

"But she is okay?"

"I don't know, I don't talk to her."

"But you don't, what-do-you-call... quarrel...?"

"No, we can be civil. But there's no reason to talk to her. I don't like her."

"I see..."

[Awkward silence.]

"Well, I'b got baykayshun time coming up, I'b got to teyke. At deh end ub dis munt. Ip you wanted to, you cud come bisit me here..."

"Yeahhh, I 'll see, you know it's hard for me to plan ahead with everything. I might have to fly to L.A., I never know what my schedule's going to be..."

"Okeh... well, call me prum time-to-time to let me know how you are doing..."

"Sure, pop. Talk soon."