Old Day Jobs: The P.R. Firm

December 1997. I had been working at the small public relations firm for about three months. It was my first regular job after graduating from college, with a useless degree in Dramatic Writing. I was living in the West Village with my sister at the time, the office was in SoHo, and it was the perfect position for a person with no marketable skills.

I was an office assistant, helping a team of publicists with anything and everything. I'd put together media lists, do mass press-release faxes, file receipts, stuff envelopes, fetch soup for the big boss, make deliveries and pickups. I was very well-liked and they wanted to groom me into a junior publicist position.

Of course, I was adamant about not becoming a publicist. This was a day job, not a career. From the start, I wanted a day job that afforded me the time and space to write on the side.

Worse yet, while most of the publicists were great to work with, one was an utter douchebag.

Dan Schwartz. Yes, Dan Schwartz at Trent & Company.

Dan Schwartz was a prissy, balding, hissy-fit throwing cocksucker. This middle-aged asshole would throw preschool-level tantrums at the drop of a hat. And I took most of it coz I didn't work for him ALL of the time, and it was my first regular job, and I was just a fucking office assistant.

But I was getting paid shite. And this wasn't a career job. And one day in December, three months after I'd started working there, Dan Schwartz started yelling at me FOR NOT RUNNING TO ASSIST HIM FAST ENOUGH, and I fucking lost it.

I've got no idea what the fuck I said to him, but I was yelling it, and I was yelling at the entire office. "Dan Schwartz is a fucking baby! I don't need this, I QUIT!"

I grabbed my coat and I stormed out of there. Trudged home through a gray December snowfall. (Back then, it used to snow in the winter.)

The office manager called me. Said that Dan was ready to apologize. But I was done with that job. I felt bad for losing my cool, I was pissed that he made me lose my cool, but I figured... maybe I just really needed to get out of there... right before the new year...

xXxXx

Got a call from Platinum Dunes, Tuesday night. No concrete news to share on the "Butcherhouse" front. They're looking for the right director, waiting for a production slot to open up, etc...

... but they've really liked working with me on that project and want to find ANOTHER project we can work on together!

HELLS YEAH.

I've got about a week to pull my shit together. They want to hear about some of the scripts I'm working on, on my own. They also may have some properties that I could get attached to. Some comic book stuff, perhaps.

Suffice it to say, I am thrilled to death.

Also, it seems that my L.A. agent just became a father. I didn't even know he was pregnant!