The Loneliest Days of Our Lives

There's a thousand you's; there's only one of me.
—Kanye West

I've made a decision on which talent agency I'm going with. I could wait to take meetings with more of them, but I don't want to draw this out any longer. There's a strike on the horizon. Gotta go with the gut feeling here. It's not the biggest agency, but they've got some good, lifetime clients like Philip Seymour Hoffman, and John Sayles—who's got a perfectly enviable career as far as I'm concerned.

Christ, I've been sick all week. Queasy-like. Not my most productive of weeks. Spotty sleep. In need of a bit more air and sun. Trying to get my groove back. It's even been a crap week for blogging.

Have you read about monkeys and pigeons? That's how lonely the world is. Animals are crossing species lines to make connections. Anything to hold onto. To maintain a sense of humanity in this barren wasteland.

I have been in a blacker mood than usual. Probably goes hand-in-hand with feeling unwell. I just feel sublimely alienated. I harbor a lot of contempt in my heart for a lot of people; for a lot of types of people...

Pardon my obliqueness. Part of contemplating what I want to accomplish with my life has been thinking about why I need to succeed.

I need to succeed because of all the people who didn't believe in me over the years. I need to succeed because of all the bitter people who'd like to see me fail (even though they'd never admit to it). I need to win out coz I fuckin deserve it.

I know some people who don't deserve one happy moment in their fucking lives. But the world doesn't dole out happy moments fairly.

"Doctoring other people's pictures without their consent, are we?" harrumphed the Gay Horse.

"I had to," replied Malice.

Fountainhead Shuffled 5:
1. "Heaven is a Place on Earth", Belinda Carlisle
2. "The Last Supper", Andrew Lloyd Webber
3. "Don't Let the Sun Go Down on Me", Oleta Adams
4. "Oh What A World", Rufus Wainwright
5. "Soothe", Smashing Pumpkins
Atlas Shrugged Bonus:
"Leaving Hope", Nine Inch Nails