MALICE PWNS

Was there really any doubt that I would kick ass at Nick & Emma's wedding...??

I channeled Spalding Gray for my speech. With maybe a touch of David Sedaris. And MegaMan.

Wedding reception audiences tend to be very generous, but I was a bit taken aback by how generous this one was. I was getting laughs where I was anticipating dead silences. Some huge laughs I didn't think I earned. I couldn't have wished for a better audience. They were with me every step of the way... it was like a fixed fight.

As hard as I've been working on my screenplay the past few months, I think I had really been more anxious about giving this speech. Honestly, the past month, the past several weeks, I kept thinking, "I've got to give a speech at the end of August..." And I couldn't really relax because I wanted it to be good.

It kind of reminds me what I used to like about performing. When it's really working, you're having this dialogue with the audience. You're making a vital connection with a large number of people, all at once. When it works, it feels incredible. One of the best sensations in the world...

But I can't handle it.

There's a reason I'm a writer, and it's coz I'm chickenshit. My little speech may have gone off well, but I worried myself to death over it. I get way too much performance anxiety. Even if it's just the appropriate amount of performance anxiety, it's too much for me...

It must be said, as jaded and cynical as I've (had to) become, I was genuinely moved by Nick & Emma's ceremony. Partially coz I've known Nick so long, partially coz they're so clearly good together and I'm truly fond of both of them. (Primarily Emma; Nick to a slightly lesser degree.) Trust me, I get fucking disgusted by seeing other people happy. But these is good people. I know them and I know their families.

I'm great with other people's families because I'm like a quirky coffee table ornament. I'm the perfect conversation-starter. Wind him up and watch him go!

I am so relieved that speech is behind me. Now I can really unwind...

Let's party, kids! C'mon, let's go!