You and What Army?

"A high school girl could do my job!
I wanna get out into the shit...
I wanna get some trigger time..."
Full Metal Jacket

A screenwriting career is an odd path. Just concentrating on it for the past few months has been surreal. It vacillates between being pampered and being desperate.

Writing has never been directly linked with me paying my bills, till now. I'm still trying to acclimate to this new way of working.

At the old day job, I could crank out a project with a tight deadline because it was work. It was day job work. It wasn't personal. You'd just churn it out because it had to be done.

Even during the roughest times, it wasn't hard labor. You weren't digging out coal next to a dead canary. You were just clocking hours in a temperature-controlled office. Collecting a regular paycheck. A decent paycheck, all things considered.

Now, the office is anywhere I can conceivably write a little. It feels infantile, at times. "What should happen NEXT in my imaginary movie?" And yet, my future's riding on this absurd exercise.

I've already beaten the odds, but I need to beat some more and get this fucker greenlit. If I can get it greenlit, things really change. And then maybe I could relax a little and find some perspective. Get out into the shit. Get some trigger time. Actually enjoy some of it.