Cruelest Place on Earth

When I've got a bit more time and I'm feeling more charitable, I'll put together a more involved entry recounting my little vacation. But for now, while it's still fresh, I'd like to document the saddest thing I've ever witnessed in my life. I saw it on the last day of our trip to Disney World, at a Winnie the Pooh Buffet where families could stuff their faces and take pictures with characters from the Hundred Acre Wood...

I spotted her almost immediately, as we waited to enter the eatery. Large woman. That in and of itself didn't stand out because I'd noticed an inordinate number of plus-size people at the Magic Kingdom. But in addition to her size, this woman had done an awful job of applying makeup to her face. A pasty white base, bright rouge highlights on the cheeks, blue splotches for eyelids and lipstick as bright as Christmas ornaments. The woman looked like a clown and I commented on it to Codename JGoose as the lady walked by us...

We ended up sitting at the table next to the woman. I had assumed she was there with her family, but it gradually became obvious that she was there alone. She had waiters take pictures of her with the various Pooh characters that made the rounds. Pooh himself. Eeyore. Piglet (who she bore a remarkable resemblance to -- though somehow even larger than the character in the suit).

She had them all sign a birthday card for her. Turns out, it was her 40th birthday. And she had come to Disney World to celebrate it. Alone. 150 pounds overweight. In Joker makeup.

Let me clarify, JGoose and Merillon did NOT find this anywhere near as amusing as I did. Let me also clarify, I only found it amusing in that it was by far the saddest real life thing I had ever witnessed first-hand. (And I've seen peasants in the Philippines willing to fall off the side of a mountain to catch the loose change from tourists.)

JGoose wanted to invite her to eat with us. JGoose has a very good heart. (For the record, I had essentially forced JGoose and Merillon to take me to Disney World and Universal Studios.) Thankfully, we decided to keep our party-of-three separate from this woman's party-of-one.

Yes, I can be mean. And sure, I might *occasionally* say mean things about other people. But once in a while, you encounter a scene that's so sad, it's beyond ridicule. Sad to me, anyway. The woman wasn't weeping into her birthday cupcake. She seemed chipper, happy to be there, which just seemed to make me sadder. I just imagined what kind of hell this woman must have gone through in her life, such that going to Disney World alone on her 40th birthday seemed like a good idea. I went so I could ride Space Mountain a million times. Why did she go? So she could conjure up some memories of a happier time when she was a child...?

All right. This blog's black enough as it is, and I just got some bad news I won't write about here. Let's try not to dwell on the macabre. I'll write some more when I'm in better spirits...