Gold Star Me Kitten

Tuesday, I was officially granted the status of a STAR COMMENTER on Gawker.

"What the who?"

You see, to try to separate their comment section from the rest of the "Talk Back" bathroom wall of internet comment sections, Gawker established a hierarchy system to their comments. Just about anyone can leave a comment once you establish a profile, but commenters who've been granted a gold star are given higher placement. They are also given the power to "promote" other comments that they deem worthy.

Gawker overlord Nick Denton explains it all here, but here's an excerpt:

As a site gets bigger, the comments tend to get busier — and sometimes more annoying...

... the most pernicious comments don't come from trolls or spammers. Those can be easily identified and barred. What ruins a good discussion is what we could call the chatty commenter. They may be a devoted reader, someone we don't have the heart to ban. But they only occasionally contribute something to the sum of human knowledge. And the chatty commenters — because there are so many of them — set the tone. Their presence puts off the subjects of items — or other people with something interesting to say.

So we need to introduce another level — the power commenter — to the hierarchy. We used to refer to our comment environment as a club — with a velvet rope to keep the riff-raff out on the street. Well, now the club is too busy. If we're going to maintain credibility, we need a the equivalent of a VIP room. We'll populate the VIP room by giving special privileges to star commenters. They'll get prominence and space — as will their guests. And — we hope — it will be this salon that sets the tone of discussion.

Our comments have stood out amid the illiterate abuse and empty-headed wittering of the rest of the internet; we're going to make sure it stays that way as the audience continues to expand...

"Whoa, that sounds sort of obnoxious, Malice. How did you get a star?"

I guess I've left enough "brilliant, witty and informative comments" that one of the editors finally saw fit to promote me to starred status. (My Gawker handle, btw, is "dystopika".)

"Wow, Malice... you must be really satisfied with yourself!" the Gay Horse observed. "You've really made the most of your time being unemployed, haven't you! Your parents must be so proud that you've been recognized for leaving amusing comments on a snarky hipster news site. Have you shared the good news with your reps? And how's that original script coming along...? That new spec script that you're supposed to be writing...? What's the status of that one...?"

Eff you, Gay Horse. Go back into hiding.

"Homophobe!" whinnied the Gay Horse.