Thursday, February 14, 2008

Fundamentally Loathsome

Hate is a many splendoured thing!

Hate lifts us up where we belong!

All you NEED is hate!

I know what you're thinking.

You're all thinking I'm gonna FLIP OUT and go on a big, whiny rant about how Valentine's Day is for suckers.

Instead, I've created a lovely new animated gif for all of you bloody fucking lovebirds out there. (You're welcome.)

Honestly, I looooove Valentine's Day! I mean, I've got hearts tattooed on the backs of my motherfucking hands: If that doesn't scream sincerity to you, I don't know why we're still having this conversation.

This is the day that all the people in happy, loving, fulfilling relationships say, "GO FUCK YOURSELF!" to everybody else in the world. [They say that all the rest of the days of the year, too, but today it is filled with peculiar vehemence.]

You can't even look up a word in the dictionary without getting this shit shoved down your gullet:
(Thanks, Merriam-Webster—you meretricious bitch!)

In closing, I wish every day were Valentine's Day. Because it reminds me to hate. And you can never have enough venom pulsing through you.


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