i'm only happy when it rains

it's the mourning after and i'm still very much alive. big fucking deal.

i was pleasantly surprised by the turnout. i would argue more people were there to see ME than nicko, but i think the circus freak component had a lot to do with that. i am proud to say i took EVERY DRINK people bought me and i was still standing without assistance at the end of the night. that's practice, kiddies. that's months of methodical work paid off.

i think i did an admirable job of distributing face-time with the disparate factions. it's always tough and never quite sufficient at something like this, but i did my best.

i lost track of how many 'birthday punches' p landed on me, but clearly it wasn't enough because i've got no bruises nor am i bleeding this mourning. that girl's got some moxie. i tried to get her to start hitting me in the face, but she wouldn't go for it. what a bitch...

the sun is shining. i find sunny days the most depressing. i wish it were dark and raining right now. one day a real rain will come and wash all the scum off the face of this city. i just wish it were today.