one crazy summer

thick, wet, hazy, ugly dog of a day, here in the 8th circle of hell. since the weather switched abruptly from deep winter to nuclear summer, it has been a war just to get myself out the door in the morning.

this week was tough to fight through, for one reason or another. don't know if it's the weather or the steady stream of bad dreams or what's in the newspapers or the manic depression. this week, the world just seemed unbearable.

i watched the video of Nick Berg's murder by Iraqi terrorists. (don't worry, i won't put a link to the place where i found it; if you really need to see it, you'll find it on your own.) it is queasy how mundanely it occurs. like watching a fisherman gut a fish. there are some grotesque horrors in this world. i question my need to subject myself to them. it's not like i *enjoy* it. it's not like i feel better afterwards.

i just feel gutted.

more social engagements i need to tag along to this weekend. (clearly, i'm the life of every party.) oh, and the sister-in-law is coming to stay for a day or two. i should clear a space in the turmoil for her to sleep.