Steve Jobs Has a P--

Steve Jobs, who helped make personal computers as easy to use as telephones, changed the way animated films are made, persuaded consumers to tune into digital music and refashioned the mobile phone, has XXXX—

STOP THE PRESS!

Bloomberg accidentally published an obituary for still-alive Apple founder Steve Jobs.

So, dry those tears, Justin Long. Your fucking messiah lives.

Can you believe this summer's done for? Like, nails in the coffin. Ashes to ashes. Goodbye Mary, goodbye Jane; will we ever meet again?

August perishes.

Autumn rises.

I'll be writing this holiday weekend. This doesn't end for me. It's only the beginning.