I'm Gonna Burn this Whole World Down

08.08.08

So much promise in the world and yet I have been in a black mood.

Maybe it's that ever-looming threat of failure.

Despite all the (potentially) exciting projects I'm developing, I live in a startlingly empty world. Profoundly empty.

The other day, I had a few conference calls that I'd been stressing about. When they were over, I had this sense of relief and euphoria. I felt like talking to someone.

And then I realized—

I had no one to talk to.

Let me tell you, that is one rotten fucking feeling.

I know how important this creative stuff is. It's a realization of a childhood dream and so forth. I'm not discounting it and I'm up at some ungodly hours trying to get the work done. I'm in this to win.

But what's it mean, at the end of the day, if you've got no one to share it with?

There are some vile fucking things I'd love to say here. Some black, hideous things.

But I won't.

It's a long war. I've got my eyes trained on the future. The past and present are empty places. All I've got is the future.