Monday, April 07, 2008

The Horrors of Children

You know what sucks? Parents using their children as excuses to be complete douchebags.

57-year-old restauratrice and smoker Galila Huff lived in her Upper West Side condo for 10 years before Jonathan and Jenny Selbin (both lawyers) moved in down the hall.

Five years later, the Selbins were suing Huff claiming that her secondhand smoke was jeopardizing the health of their 4-year-old son Charlie.

Bullying the smoker.

Put aside some of the questionable research behind the dangers of "passive smoking". (There are so many factors—concentration of smoke in the air, length of exposure, outside environmental factors—it's hard to isolate the specific threat of "the smell of smoke".) The woman is smoking in her own fucking apartment. She bought a bunch of air purifiers and sealed off the vents in her condo to help seal her habit off from the fucking Selbins.

They claim they can smell it in the hallway.

Are they planning on raising their son in the hallway outside her apartment?

What about all the car exhaust in the city they live in? Maybe they should sue the city, too? To protect their precious fucking Charlie.

And you KNOW that Charlie Selbin is going to grow up to be one of those horrible fucking douchebags, lousy with a sense of entitlement.

Aren't there enough assholes in this godforsaken city?

(Shel Silverstein meets Scott Smith.)


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