Your Friends & Neighbors

The other day, I heard the sound of screaming through my apartment wall.

It was a woman's voice. Wailing. A weepy rage. There was only her voice, so I assumed she was talking on the phone.

I put my ear to the wall and caught a snippet:

"... HE SHOULD GO TO JAIL FOR WHAT HE DID TO ME!!!"

But the screaming ended abruptly before I could glean any more details...

A couple lives in this apartment. I've seen the man clearly, walking in or walking out—we've said hello to each other, that's about it. I've never clearly seen the woman. When the building suffered a fire sometime last year and we all had our doors open, I saw some movement in their apartment, beyond their ajar door, but I didn't see her clearly.

Another time, the couple was coming in after me. I said hello to the man as he entered the hallway, and I think I heard the woman coming up after him but I didn't stick around to see her. But she's always been there, as far as I could tell. And they've seemed normal enough. I think I've heard the guy speak Portuguese, and I think I've heard them watching The World Cup.

The guy has always struck me as fairly innocuous-looking. A cross between Elvis Costello and that Verizon "Can-You-Hear-Me-Now?" guy. And aside from some World Cup hoots and hollerin, I've never heard anything resembling a rough argument or an act of violence.

Until the screaming.

This morning, I heard that same wailing voice. This time, it no longer seemed she was talking to someone on the phone. It seemed she was just screaming at the air. But she got more specific...

"PLEASE GOD, GET THIS BUILDING A REAL SUPER! NOT AN IDIOT WHO PRETENDS TO BE A SUPER! AN AMATEUR PHOTOGRAPHER WHO PRETENDS TO BE A SUPER BUT CAN'T DO ANYTHING! HE SHOULD BE IN JAIL FOR WHAT HE DID TO ME!!!"

Oh. My. Effing. Christ.

I fucking despise our Russian super. I'm pretty sure he set the building on fire last year, he's creepy as all get out, and he's near impossible to deal with for the smallest things. I got no fucking idea what's going on next door, but I'm pretty sure I'd like to get a new apartment as soon as I can afford one...