Happy Hoax Day

Hello, bros and brosephines. Welcome to the day of stupid media hoaxes! The day all the improbable news stories and "Chinese Democracy" release dates hit the wires. Paving the way for self-congratulatory follow-up stories about how many people were hornswaggled. Everyone agrees it's great fun.

Totally unrelated -- and totally completely for really reals -- zombie alien invaders started to colonize Manhattan this morning. And, uh, my dog came back from the dead and tried to come live with me, but my apartment building doesn't allow pets. And, uh, I accidentally killed a boy when I was down south a few summers ago. And, uh, that Paramount deal I've been talking about for the past 7-8 months is, like, completely real.