The Secret of My Success

I hear you out there. You're saying, "Malice, you've been married for 3 years today. What's the motherfuckin secret?"

Well, Billy, what you've got to do is let your wife walk out on you a little after your 1-year anniversary. Spend the better part of the next year and a half trying to salvage the marriage until you're sure it's absolutely fucking dead. After that, it's just a matter of aligning your schedules so you can find a time to meet with a lawyer to fill out the divorce papers. Then Bob's your uncle and May's your auntie!

"Isn't that a bit callous, Malice?"

If you want to see callous, Billy, come see my next play when it debuts. Then, you will see some fucking brutality.

My heart's a fucking grenade.