wide load

having trouble with those so-called "standard" toilets that just won't accomodate your massive, jesus-fearing ass...?

tired of dealing with judgmental plumbers at 3am after burrito night...?

taking a dump like threading the eye of a needle? "missed" that pesky hole one time too many...?

"one size fits all" doesn't work for underwear -- why should it work for toilet bowls...?

don't be a slave to society's unattainable 'beauty' standards -- buy a GREAT JOHN TOILET BOWL, you spectacularly fat fuck!

and shit your motherfucking heart out!!!^TM

["Slip 'n' Slide" version available Fall 2005!]