my mallory heart is sure to fail

the thing is, i don't drink beer at home. at home, i only drink the hard stuff. when i'm out, i'll drink beer. the hard stuff takes me too far, too fast. beer i can coast on for a while. maybe i also don't drink beer at home because it's harder to lug all those bottles home (alone), versus -- say -- a bottle of jack and a bottle of dewers.

my wednesday work day is sweeping up. relatively smooth, uneventful day. the kind of day i pray every day is like.

it's december 8th. i'm setting myself up for a fucking bender of a december. anything goes. it's amazing the sense of freedom you get when nothing really matters anymore. if i end up wearing cement shoes at the bottom of a river, i won't have to wonder what led me there. it's what happens when you open your heart to the world... you drown...