true love waits

had a bad dream last night. i know things are lousy when my dreams become more literal. in this one, i'm in my apartment. i hear the sound of footsteps approaching the door. i hear the sound of the door unlocking (which i haven't heard since the beginning of september). the door opens and in walks this caucasian man -- tall and handsome -- who sheepishly explains that he's here to collect c's things on her behalf.

interpret that however you will.

downward, downward, he spirals...! when will he stop...? how far can he go...? maybe he doesn't want to stop... maybe he doesn't want to "get over it"... maybe he doesn't want to pull the knife out -- maybe he wants to hold the knife deep inside of him until it becomes a part of him...