Tuesday, November 04, 2014

Malice Highload's Vegas Vacation

We stayed at the Trump Hotel in Vegas. My sis got a decent deal there and I've got to say: it was pretty sweet. Donald Trump is a human douche nozzle but he's got his name on a nice hotel there.

We were on the 56th Floor. 5609, if you really want to recreate this.

The highlight was definitely that helicopter tour of the Grand Canyon. Mom and sis are deathly afraid of heights and adventure, so they opted out and I went with my Australian aunt and uncle. Seeing the helicopters parked before we boarded, I had some "Grand Theft Auto" flashbacks. If I were playing a game, I'd just run out there, climb into one of those helicopters and take off.

If I were playing a game...

FUN FACT: They only fill the helicopters with half a tank of fuel when they take off from the HQ. Less fuel = less weight = packing more paying people into a helicopter. The HQ is about 20 minutes off the Las Vegas strip, so half a tank of fuel is just enough to get us to the Grand Canyon; then we refuel on the way back.

What does a $500 ticket buy you? A helicopter trip to the Grand Canyon and an airplane-food-style box of crudités. Carrots, celery, Ritz crackers, cheddar chunk and a little tub of Ranch. Some soda and a plastic cup of "champagne", too.

All enjoyed at this little Grand Canyon picnic table spot.

FUN FACT: They weigh everyone before they let you board the helicopters. At this picnic spot, I was quietly collecting souvenir Grand Canyon stones in my pockets. When I got back on the copter, I was 2 stones heavier—*literally* 2 stones.

Another highlight was visiting the Red Rock Canyon.

Some breathtaking views, there.

Surprise NON-highlight was attending Penn & Teller's Vegas show. I loved these guys growing up but their Vegas act strangely devolves into a Libertarian, Bill-of-Rights-waving gun rally. Shockingly preachy. Actually felt uncomfortable as large portions of the audience were very vocal in their support of P&T's politics. Immediately after the show, Penn and Teller walk right into the hall outside the theater and make themselves completely accessible to the fans. Taking pictures, shaking hands. Teller openly speaks as soon as he's off the stage. Originally, I was going to shake their hands and take pics with them and tell them how much I loved them growing up... but I didn't want to shake their hands after that show. As cool as it was that they were so friendly after their show... I did not care for that show.


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