Thursday, May 29, 2014

How to Get a Security Guard Fired

A preemptive disclaimer: if you've stumbled upon this page while trying to get tips on how to get a security guard fired, I don't have answers to that (yet). Though I recently did a few searches on this subject.

The current temporary gig is in an old building in the financial district that's seen better days. The elevators are small and antiquated and lurch and stall and, regularly, freefall. But that's not the best bit.

Recently, they ramped up security in the building for some unknown reason. That means everyone gets picture ID badges that they have to flash when they enter, and they've got to sign out of a sign-out book if they make the fatal mistake of leaving the building after 7pm.

The badge flash on entry was not universally enforced, which would have been one thing. It seems the security guard on the morning shift just randomly selects guys to harass every day.

This morning, I got in line to wait for the next death-trap elevator and the security guard approached me. I expected him to make a simple gesture with his hand, indicating the rectangular shape of an ID badge; or maybe use words to articulate some semblance of the phrase, "Would you show me your building ID, sir?"

No. This fucking monkey-suited security guard steps right up to me and just edges closer and closer, as if he were about to initiate some kind of fight. I'm ready to show him my ID. I'm waiting for him to give me a basic prompt. But he gives me nothing except this slow, brainless, stink-eyed fighter stance. As if he were trained as a fucking junkyard dog. Though he gives me ZERO prompt, I take out my ID and flash it to him, and he immediately backs away... but WTF? Who hired this animal? And how can I get him fired? Or at least contribute to a pile of complaints filed against him. I've got a few months of this dickbaggery to deal with, after all.

So I do some rudimentary searches on the building and immediately come across a crime case from just a few years ago.

Excerpt from NYT article, July 18, 2009:
An elevator operator was ordered held without bail on Saturday in the killing of a cleaning woman whose body was found bound and gagged in an air-conditioning duct in the Lower Manhattan office building where they both worked.
Who fucking vets the employees at this fucking building?

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