Wayne Gretzky

"You miss 100% of the shots you don't take."
I asked a girl out this past weekend.

This is significant because I don't remember the last time I legitimately just bluntly asked a girl out. An appalling length of time ago.

I asked her out... more to just do it. To remember what it feels like. To forget about the girl at work a little.

I always think of that famous Wayne Gretzky quote (because I'm such a huge Wayne Gretzky fan), and I figured this was just about me taking a shot.

I blew it, naturally. I choked more because she didn't say "no" outright. I set her up to give me an easy rejection... and when she didn't do it, I was forced to go through with asking her out. (I think she may have been a little young and inexperienced.) Then her mom put her back in her stroller and they walked off.*

This is not just about me committing to some kind of monastic existence in order to serve my career properly. This is about me wanting to get some shit in order before inviting a guest over to my proverbial Fortress of Solitude. And yes, that means getting my career to a certain position, which is connected to financial issues, and security and home and confidence and the whole magilla. I'm a human being but I'm not great relationship material right now. I don't have a lot more than ambition to offer someone at the moment.

Some people... some people have to work a little harder to get what other people take for granted. It just means you have to be better than other people.

It means, *I* have to be better.

I've got two projects I'm trying to get off the ground right now. Possibly a third, but I'm not holding my breath on that because OTHER PEOPLE CAN BE UNRELIABLE.

There are not enough hours. Would that I could stop time and just write for the equivalent of a few days.

[* This was a joke, internet: she wasn't THAT young.]