Sunshine

Over the years, I've had this recurring dream of my childhood dog Lucky revisiting me from the grave. Last night, I had a similar dream involving a childhood canary we had named Sunshine.

The context is a blur at this hour. I was removing Sunshine from one cage and placing her into another, I think. While thinking that it had been a while since I'd seen Sunshine, or thought about Sunshine, and marveling that she was still alive after all this time as I didn't recall feeding her for over 20 years.

As I placed her in her new home, I think I was holding her a little too tightly... and one of her wings broke off and fell to the bottom of the cage.

I thought, "Whoa... is she going to be able to grow another one of those...?"

And that's all I remember. A feeling of guilt that I'd forgotten to take care of her for so long. And further guilt that I'd hobbled her.

For the record, we had a series of canaries when I was a kid, but Sunshine was the first and the last. I remember seeing her lifeless body at the bottom of her cage one morning. I remember burying her beside a tree sapling in the backyard, where I'd also buried a goldfish. Maybe a salamander.

Sometimes... dead is better.