Don't Call Me Father

Recent phone conversation:

DAD
Do you hab... ehh... what-do-you-calldis, what-do-you-calldis, what-do-you-calldis, what-do-you-calldis, what-do-you-calldis, what-do-you-calldis, what-do-you-calldis, what-do-you-calldis, what-do-you-calldis, what-do-you-calldis, what-do-you-calldis... com-pyoo-terr...

ME
Laptop.

DAD
Yes -- LAPTOP!

ME
Sure, I have a laptop.

DAD
Now, eh... what ees da dipperence between da Laptop and de Ipad....?

ME
Laptop has a keyboard.

DAD
But, de Ipad... it has... I can still type on the...

ME
Sure, you can type on an iPad.

DAD
I can do deh Email on de Ipad...

ME
Yes, you can email on an iPad.

DAD
So... eh... maybe all I need is de Ipad...!...?

ME
Sure. I'm sure you could probably just get by with an iPad, if all you're doing is emailing.

DAD
[Awkward silence.]

ME
[Awkward silence.]

And... scene.