Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Facebook Block Rockin Beats

About a million years ago when a company called "Bear Stearns" existed, I worked there and a "facebook" referred to a document with pictures of the bankers. They were useful for connecting a name to a face, and to ogle at the pretty girls and marvel at how much more education they had than you.

Today, a "facebook" is a ubiquitous social networking bullshit rodeo.

My profile is very poorly managed. I admit that I play shitty Facebook games on it while trying to conceal the fact that I play these shitty Facebook games because if I didn't it would look like I wasted a LOT of time playing shitty Facebook games. (Which I honestly don't because if I did I wouldn't be able to waste so much time updating this shitty blog.)

My manifest of "Facebook friends" includes:

+ Legitimate friends
+ Friends of friends
+ Former coworkers I was friendly with
+ Former coworkers I barely knew
+ People I went to high school with who I haven't seen since high school
+ People I don't know who I've friended to help me play shitty Facebook games
+ Entertainment Industry people (my managers, writers, directors, producers)
+ A handful of actors I've worked with
+ A few cousins
+ Frienemies (*may indicate any of the above)

I try to rarely post updates because it's such a motley assortment of contacts and there is rarely something I want to convey to ALL of them.

One of the lamest things is waking up from a hard night of drinking, trying to piece together everything that you did the night before, then finding that someone else has "tagged" you in a series of pictures that DEPICT everything you did the night before.

If someone who didn't know me better took a closer look at my profile, they'd think my entire life consisted of getting drunk and playing shitty Facebook games!


Yes, you can make sure the games don't automatically post updates to your profile, AND you can "untag" yourself from drunken pictures (at the peril of looking like a spoil sport among some of your friends), AND you can edit your privacy settings and restrict what certain "Facebook friends" can see on your profile. But that can be a lot of housekeeping.

All of this is just an overlong preface to the confession that I recently blocked my father on Facebook!

I already preemptively blocked my sister a while back before she could even think about sending me a "friend request". Mom's not on Facebook. Nor was dad... until I received a "friend request" from him a few days ago.

My dad who I haven't seen in 7 years. And instead of accepting his request for friendship on Facebook, I FUCKING BLOCK HIM!!! I don't merely ignore the request but block his entire fucking profile. My own fucking dad, no less! (Like some tragic story from the Bible.)

So as far as he can see, I no longer exist on Facebook.

Well, it'll just be easier this way.

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