Steve Jobs Introduces New Thing For You to Buy [UPDATED]

Your first day as a woman and it's already that time of the month!

Good thing Apple fought for this name. It's a winner.


I'm saving up for the iDouche this Fall.

(Oh!, we have fun!)

Did you hear that Steve Jobs is Iron Man?

[UPDATE]
This just in, true believers:
Meme barely a day old and already exhausted!

But wait, there's more from THE ONION...

Frantic Steve Jobs Stays Up All Night Designing Apple Tablet

CUPERTINO, CA—Claiming that he completely forgot about the much-hyped electronic device until the last minute, a frantic Steve Jobs reportedly stayed up all night Tuesday in a desperate effort to design Apple's new tablet computer. "Come on, Steve, just think—think, dammit—you're running out of time," the exhausted CEO said as he glued nine separate iPhones to the back of a plastic cafeteria tray. "Okay, yeah, this will work. This will definitely work. Just need to write 'tablet' on this little strip of masking tape here and I'm golden. Oh, come on, you piece of shit! Just stick already!" Middle-of-the-night sources reported that Jobs then began work on double-spacing his Keynote presentation and increasing the font size to make it appear longer.

[Note: It's hard finding a picture of Steve Jobs looking nervous because in every picture the smug bastard looks so damn self-satisfied.]