I'm Afraid of Americans

Yes, a movie adaptation of the classic late-70s arcade game "Asteroids" might seem far-fetched. There was no storyline in the game. The protagonist was a triangle that blasted rocks. In the formative years of the videogame industry, play mechanics trumped stories. I'm working on another project with the producers who are doing the Asteroids movie; no idea what they're thinking, but you can cook up all sorts of outer-space conceits and attach the "Asteroids" brand, so I'm sure they've got something cooking.

No, the cake-taker for far-fetched movie ideas is the "View-Master" movie.

Yes, there are a bunch of classic boardgames being developed into movies lately (Battleship, Candyland, Monopoly), but those boardgames all have *some* sense of narrative in them. Even Ouija has a narrative that could be built from its spare source... it's a witchboard used to communicate with the dead, after all...

But "View-Master"...?

First let me say, I don't buy into all the internet bellyaching over the dearth of creativity in Hollywood. I think it takes far MORE creativity to try to conjure a workable feature film out of some of these spare intellectual properties. Adapting a book is relatively easy: the story's all there. What if your job was to create a dramatic feature-length film out of "Connect Four"? THAT's a real challenge.

The movie studios are parts of big corporations that are looking to maximize their profits. They snap up the rights to these seemingly strange properties NOT because they're all inherently cinematic but because there's instant BRAND RECOGNITION. That's the business end that looks bizarre/absurd from the consumer end. But the fact is, generations have grown up playing with these games/toys. The business wants to capitalize on that level of recognition.

And yet... I admit, I'm stumped by the challenge of creating a "View-Master" movie. Even "Scrabble" can generate a sense of drama.

A "View-Master" is a toy that has no story of its own. It shows still-pictures of other stories. It'd be like trying to make a movie out of "DVD Player" or "Walkman": these are inherently character-less machines that play content but are absolutely useless on their own.

But if I had to speculate... I'd hazard to guess that the movie will involve a *magical* View-Master of some sort...