Arma Goddamn Mothafuckin Geddon!

Caught American Masters on PBS HD Wednesday night: "Hollywood Chinese", a look back at the portrayal of Chinese throughout the history of motion pictures, incorporating interviews with a range of actors, writers and directors.

I also recently caught "How Bruce Lee Changed the World" on the History Channel HD. A slightly less inspiring homage relying heavily on testimonials from such Asian luminaries as Brett Ratner, LL Cool J and Eddie Griffin.

As some of you might know, I was once (in another lifetime) part of an Asian-American theater group that dealt to death with all manner of cultural identity navel-gazing. I'm not going to disparage the entirety of that experience (not today, at least), but it's diplomatic to say that there was a limit to how interested I was in that subject.

But there was a sense of community that I appreciated, for a time. Arguably an ultimately illusory sense of community. Being a part of something larger. So that in theory, your success contributed to the success of others.

Everything was for the taking. And now it's all over.

Been thinking more on The Future, lately. The next steps. I been living a fairly selfish life. The past decade has been such a turbulent ride, I don't think anyone could fault me for it.

But it helps to think about the future and where I want to go and what I want to accomplish. It's easy to lose sight of a long-term vision when you're chasing after every goddamn Open Writing Assignment (OWA) that knocks on the motherfrakkin door.

What's strange is that I'm trying to work on all these Big Projects right now so that I can eventually afford to work on some smaller, more personal projects. It's like I skipped a few steps and I'm simultaneously trying to move back and move forward.

But YOU believe in me, don't you, Constant Lurker?? (With the exception of the many of you who are only hanging on to watch me go down, of course.)

Here's the dirty truth: the African-American community will support African-American films but the Asian-American community will NOT NECESSARILY support Asian-American films... because the so-called Asian-American community is way too diverse and fractured and a shitload of Asian-American folks don't really give two fucks about Asian-American identity stories because zzzzzzzz...

Non-traditional casting is the way to go. Get more diversity on the screen without shoving cultural politics down people's throats every minute. Tell good stories better than others.

Yes, the specter of doom lurches across the landscape of my personal life, but my dying dream is to be able to contribute something valuable to pop culture before the light's snuffed. I don't know how much time I've got but I'll work my damnedest to make an impact before I get my proverbial posse. I have enough venom in my blood to make this happen.