Spoiled Little L.A. Girls

One of the managers called me Thursday afternoon to needle me about visiting Los Angeles sometime in the near future, to take some meetings. I was wondering when they were going to start going after me about that—since I haven't stepped foot in L.A. since the summer of 2007, and definitely haven't gone while I've had actual representatives in L.A.

"We could piggyback it on top of the greenlight so we've got that to point to. Or you might have to come out here anyway for the Usher thing. There are people who are interested in meeting you right now but there are a few ways we could go about it. Just something to think about, coming up."

So, immediately, I start brainstorming the cheapest-ass ghetto ways I could get my arse to L.A.

Here's the thing: assuming I'm there for a week... plane ticket, hotel nights, car rental, the day-to-day expenses... it'd be about a cool grand, I think.

Other options? Bus (puke)? Train? Maybe save a few quid, but it's a much bigger time investment. I don't know if the savings make it valuable enough.

Hitchhiking cross-country could be an experience. But most likely a surefire way to become a cold case file. My boyish good looks, coupled with my inability to defend myself in any realistic way, would be far more attractive to serial killers than girlfriendable girls. I can just imagine Bill Kurtis narrating my cold case narrative...

"The case would remain cold for a solid 10 years until an unlikely break would arrive in the summer of 2019... when a 79-year-old trucker with a history of mental illness would come clean with a bizarre deathbed confession..."

My mother would be thankful just to reclaim my remains. For "closure".

A thousand bucks. That's the better part of a month's rent in this godforsaken city that I loathe and inexplicably cling to.

Son of a bitch.

Well, assuming this is something that's gonna go down in the next few months, I should have the scratch. Assuming one or more of these meetings actually leads to a frakking paycheck, that ought to staunch the bleeding somewhat.

Maybe I just like writing these entries where I can point out that I have representatives. It's one of the few novelties I've got in this lonely life I lead. I'll take what I can goddamn get.