The Cockmeat Version

Watched the blu-ray for Harold & Kumar Escape from Gitmo the other day. Fun enough movie. But the disc has this special version called "Dude, Change The Movie!" where it branches, Choose-Your-Own-Adventure style, and you can watch alternate versions of what would happen.

For example, mid-way through the movie the titular Harold and Kumar are holed up in Guantanamo Bay, about to be force-fed a "cock-meat sandwich", when something happens and they're given a chance to escape. Of course, they choose to escape.

But in the CHANGE version, the movie stops and you're given a chance to select whether you want them to escape or whether you want them to stay and receive their cockmeat.

A menu presents you with these options while Harold and Kumar can be heard in voice-over, bickering over the logic of the alternate path. In this case, if you choose "cockmeat", the movie ends abruptly with a scene of Harold and Kumar as old bearded men locked up in Gitmo, having lived off a lifetime of cockmeat sandwiches.

I love that alternate-version bullshit.

As much as I'm thrilled at the outcome of the general election this past week—and OD'ed on news coverage and speeches—I'd love it if I could watch an alternate "cockmeat" version of the election wherein there's a McCain/Palin win. How batshit would that have been? The media would have treated it as a tragedy. Matt Drudge would've whipped out the ALL-CAPS and his animated-gif siren to crow over it. It would have been an absolute disaster...

... and I kinda wish I could view that version in the safety of a blu-ray special feature.