Talk To Me!!!

Went to see "Stand By Me" at the Brooklyn Bridge Park Thursday night. Under the stars, surrounded by too many people.

I wonder how many single women were there. Probably a lot.

Can you guess how many I talked to?

(Zero.)

Can you guess how many single women I've talked to in the past month?

(Zero.)

You know what zero plus zero equals...?


Of course, those days are behind me... now that I've discovered the magic bullet to assassinate my lonely days:

A secret society of over 100 million hip, in the know (single, divorced, widowed) eligibles.

Anytime, anywhere you feel like meeting someone just put the Talk To Me^TM Pin on. Wear it on a lapel, a blouse, a tie, a collar, a handbag, a swimsuit, an exercise outfit.

We're through the looking glass, people.

This changes the game entirely. Hold onto your hats coz this is bout ta blow the fuckin doors off tha dating scene.

Of course, no woman in her right mind is gonna be caught dead wearing one of these pins... but you can bet your butt that a shitload of awkward men will be!

And guess what? They're gonna want you to fucking talk to them.

Alert the blogosphere.

Listen to the winds of revolution. A revolution of low-confidence individuals.

Talk to me... WHY WON'T ANYONE TALK TO ME??